


Unsaid Words (Julie and the Phantoms)

by PunkyRocky



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Lesbian Flynn (Julie and The Phantoms), M/M, University
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 40,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27174185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunkyRocky/pseuds/PunkyRocky
Summary: It's been a little more than a year since Julie graduated high school. She and Flynn decided to move in together and spend their first year at university as roommates. However, soon after the second year at university started, Flynn got engaged and decided to move in with her fiancée. University housing sorted out a new roommate for Julie, who seems convinced that they've known each other for years. Even though Julie has absolutely no memory of this guy called 'Alex', he seems determined to make sure they will get to know eacher again. This story takes place a few years after the original Netflix Series. It's a story about Julie who is working her way through college and a story of Alex, Luke and Reggie making their big comeback. But what happens if neither Julie, nor Flynn seem to recall the guys at all? Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, all rights go out to Netflix.
Relationships: Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 316
Kudos: 576
Collections: Julie and the Phantoms





	1. Chapter 1

Julie fiddled around with her pencil between her fingers. She looked at the small cracks in the wooden structure, probably caused by the times she would nervously bite down on it when she was doing coursework. She had no clue how long she had been staring at her hands, her mind empty of any thoughts at all, before she was pulled out of her daze.

"Miss Molina, I know that it's almost weekend, but we still have a few minutes of this class left. Could you please share with us what your approach was for exercise 3?" Mrs. Gold asked her from behind her desk.

Julie stared at the empty sheet of exercises in front of her. They were supposed to finish it for today's class, but she hadn't even started yet. She looked up to see the guy in front of her turned around in his seat, concern reflected in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Gold, I didn't know how-" Before she could finish her sentence a loud noise echoed through the classroom, signaling the end of class. She felt the tension her shoulders fade when she realized she wouldn't have to answer the question in front of the whole class. Most students around her gathered their stuff and ran out as soon as the buzzer went off.

"Are you okay, babe? You seem a bit off today," the guy in front of her said while he grabbed his books and tried to fit them altogether in his backpack.

"I'm fine, Jake. Just a bit tired and sad that Flynn is moving out today, that's all," Julie sighed.

"Alright. You still up for hanging out this weekend?"

"Yeah I think so, just let me check with Flynn is she wants to do something to celebrate our last weekend together as roommates. I'll text you, okay?" Julie asked while she finally managed to close her backpack, without her books piling out. The texture of the bag looked like would burst though, but that was a problem for later.

"Fine, I'll see you later. Have fun with Flynn today," Jake said before he put one strap of his bag over his right shoulder. He took a step forward and closed the space between their lips. It was nothing more than a small peck, since their teacher was still in the same room as them. "I love you, bye," he whispered before he walked out of the room.

Julie wanted to follow but was stopped by the voice of their Arts History teacher.

"Miss Molina, I know you were saved by the bell just now, but you can't keep going on like this. This wasn't the first time that you didn't do your coursework. The exam is in a few weeks. I know the last few years haven't been the easiest for you, but if you want a future in the world of art, something needs to change."

She knew the words were true, but hearing them from someone else made her heart sink a little. 

"I know Mrs. Gold, I'm sorry. I'll make sure to catch up before the exam. Once more, I didn't mean to undermine your class, I'm sorry," Julie meant to sound confident, but she wasn't entirely sure that she sounded convincing.

"Very good Julie, that's good to hear," Mrs. Gold paused a moment before she continued, "are you sure everything is okay? I head your conversation with Jake just now."

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine. I've just been a bit distracted lately," Julie nodded, putting her best smile on.

"Alright, have a good weekend then. And if you need to talk to someone, you know where to find me," Mrs. Gold concluded before she walked over to the door and signaled to Julie that she could leave.

Julie smiled one more time at her before she walked out into the hallway. She sighed, staring into the empty hallways. Normally it was buzzing with other students in here, but as soon as the buzzer signaled that it was weekend, it almost felt like a ghost town.

She took a left turn and walked through the empty university building, on her way to the exit all the way on the other side. The sound of her feet on the cold floor echoed through the hallways. As she was walking at a steady pace, it almost sounded like it could be the intro to some sort of song. The thought of that made her smile slightly at herself. She remembered the way music made her feel when she was younger. When she would write songs with her mom and sing them while playing the piano, she felt freer and happier than at any other moment in time.

However, she soon felt the smile on her face falter when she thought of her mom. It had been four years since she passed, but the pain she felt when she thought of her was still the same as all those years ago. She turned around another corner, walking towards the exit that was only a few meters away now.

She would recognize the dark brown braids anywhere. As soon as the girl outside spotted Julie, her face lit up and she enthusiastically waved. Julie pushed the door open and enjoyed the fresh air she was met with when she stepped outside.

"What's up girl! Ready for our last girls' night as roomies?" Flynn exclaimed loudly before she wrapped her arms around Julie. It took Julie a moment to process what happened, before she put up her arms around Flynn as well. She took a deep breath in, enjoying the nice scent that seemed typically Flynn.

She could not help but feel a small pinch of sadness when she realized that this would be their last weekend together. It hadn't been a surprise; Julie always knew this day would come the moment that Flynn announced that she and Rose were dating. It had been about a month ago that Flynn and Rose decided to tie the knot, the plan was to get married next year. However, they decided to move in together already since they couldn't contain their excitement anymore.

This meant that after a little longer than a year of being roommates, Flynn would get replaced by someone else. It would be strange not to live together anymore, but Julie silently hoped that their friendships wouldn't suffer from it too much.

"Julie?" Flynn her voice rang through the cold October air. She pulled out of the hug to look at her friends face when Julie didn't respond immediately.

"Yeah, yeah of course! Let's make this one count! It's on!" Julie said happily, hiding her worries from her best friend.

While she would miss Flynn dearly, she also couldn't the fact that she was curious about her new roommate. Maybe it would be nice to meet new people, right?


	2. Chapter 2

“I can’t believe we almost ate a whole pizza with just the two of us,” Flynn sighed, her hand rubbing her stomach. Her eyes went from the tv to the almost empty pizza box. “And there is still one piece left. We can’t stop now, can we?”

A chuckle escaped Julie’s mouth before she reached for the last slice. She felt the taste of greasy cheese fill her mouth when she took a bite. She wondered if there was even space left for more pizza in her body, but she couldn’t resist the urge to finish the pizza with just the two of them.

They had been watching this movie called ‘The kissing booth’ on Netflix, but had been more busy chatting with each other than trying to follow the plot of the movie. This resulted into the fact that Julie actually had no clue what the movie was about, except for the fact that it looked a bit like a cliché teen movie. Julie was just taking another sip of her wine, when their girls’ night was interrupted by the sound of loud knocking on their door.

Julie swallowed down her wine, almost choking on it in the process, before she managed to push herself of the couch. A small moan escaped her mouth when she realized that she, like she expected, had eaten too much pizza. While she let her feet carry her to the door, she couldn’t help but notice how empty the place looked. They had finished moving Flynn’s stuff into her new apartment this afternoon, so only her own stuff was still here.

When she opened the wooden door, she was greeted by a very tall, blonde guy in the hallway. As soon as his eyes met hers, they seemed to shine and he a huge smile replaced the frown on his face.

“Hey, can I help y-“ Julie started politely, but she was interrupted when the tall guy wrapped her arms tightly around her.

“Julie! Ohmygod. I wasn’t sure if this was going to work, but we found you!” He exclaimed, happiness and relief reflecting in his voice.

Julie felt overwhelmed by the sudden act of kindness, resulting in her just standing there paralysed while the tall stranger was still hugging her. She felt the radars working in her head. Did she know this guy? How did he know her name? She couldn’t help but wonder if she was going crazy or that he was just crazy himself. The alcohol in her blood didn’t help the situation either, since she didn’t feel like she could think completely clearly anymore. She jumped back into action, softly pushing the guy away and releasing herself from the embrace.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” she asked, before taking a step back, away from the guy.

“Haha good one!” He chuckled loudly, his voice echoing through the hallway. “Come on Jules, I know you’ve missed me-“ he continued before he stepped forward again and went in for another hug.

Julie put her arms up in a reflex, pushing the guy away from her when he came too close.

“What is your problem, dude? Did you use something? You know drugs aren't allowed on campus, right?” Julie asked, wondering if she should call university housing to get him removed from the hallway.

Her questions caused his face to change from the happiness he reflected, to confusion. His eyebrows lowered and his smile faltered.

“Julie, what do you mean? I know we haven’t seen each other in a while, but you can’t have forgotten me?” Julie noticed the hint of sadness in his voice.

“What’s going on JuJu?” Flynn’s voice sounded from the living room. The sound of footsteps suggested that she had gotten up from the couch as well and made her way over to the door.

“Flynn! I’m so happy to see you! Julie is acting like she doesn’t know me,” the guy said before he stepped in the direction of Flynn, obviously going in for a hug as well. It only took Flynn a second though to put her arms up and roughly push him back into the hallway.

“What the fuck is your problem dude? We both have no clue who you are, what do you want from us?!” she exclaimed loudly. Flynn had always been someone who would her emotions very clear. When she was happy, she was HAPPY. But when she was annoyed, she was ANNOYED.

The guy stumbled back into the hallway, but managed to recover quickly. Julie saw confusion written all over his face. What was going on with this guy? He cleared his throat and stood a bit more up right again.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.. I must have confused you with someone else,” he paused for a moment, “I’m Alex. I’m your new roommate.”

The air was tense. Something weird was going on with this guy. Even when he stuck out his hand to introduce himself, Julie felt like he was lying right now to cover up his weird behaviour. However, she decided to just go with it and shook his hand.

“Hey, I’m Julie. This is a weird start for us, but nice to meet you.”

Alex shot her a grin, but his eyes didn’t reflect that emotion. He let go of her hand and turned to shake Flynn’s hand. She just stared at him with round eyes and then turned to look at Julie.

“They gave you a MALE roommate? Girl, I didn’t even know that was allowed,” she whispered loudly, probably thinking that only Julie could hear her.

“Yes, I am in fact a guy. But I am also in fact, a very gay guy. So nothing to worry about,” he winked, more calmly chewing on his gum now.

“Oh for real? Same my dude, same,” Flynn recovered and put out her hand for a box instead of a handshake. Alex chuckled before returning the gesture.

“I’m Flynn by the way, but you already seemed to know that,” Flynn said. Her voice reflected the suspicious feeling that Julie still felt in her stomach as well.

“Yeah uhm university housing told me that I would be moving in with Julie. They said that I was replacing some girl named Flynn? So I assumed the one who opened the door was Julie, I didn’t know Flynn would still be here as well,” he rattled on, playing with his hands nervously. Julie narrowed her eyes, staring at his hands. Something weird was going on with this Alex. She decided to let it go for a moment and looked up again.

“Alright Alex, let’s get your stuff in then. Where is it?” she stepped out looking in the hallway, looking for a big pile of moving boxes. The hallway was completely empty though, except for two backpacks that Alex brought with him. “Where is all your stuff?” Julie asked curiously.

“I don’t have a lot, don’t you remem-“ He stopped himself halfway before changing course. “No I have everything I need in my bags. Clothes, coursework, some personal stuff. As long as there’s a bed here that I can crash on, I’m happy.”

“O.. Okay? Sure, whatever floats your boat. Come in then,” Julie stepped out of the doorway so Alex could grab his stuff and walk inside as well.

“I think I like you. You can stay,” Flynn chuckled, pointing her index finger at Alex.

It took a moment to adjust, but before they knew it they were all doing their own thing again. Julie and Flynn finished their movie, and god knows what Alex was doing, but they didn’t see him again that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> I'm sorry, I forgot to add a little author note in the first chapter.
> 
> I'm so happy to see that people were actually reading this story. Thank you so much!  
> You have no idea how much this means to me. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do, and if you want, please go to the comments and come say hi! 
> 
> I don't know when I will put the next chapter out, since I have to write my master's thesis as well these days. But I will try to write more as soon as possible. 
> 
> Once again, thank you so much!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: mention of alcohol and vomit.

It wasn’t the sound of an alarm or the tickling of sun rays in her eyes that woke Julie up the next morning. Instead, it was feeling of her throat being on fire, the taste of vomit in her mouth and the throbbing in her head that would not stop. She managed to get her head up from the pillow, just enough to read the time. The clock read 1:05 pm, which meant that she had already missed her moment for breakfast and she was about to miss her opportunity for lunch.

The small movement she made to look at the clock made the throbbing in her head even worse. She let her head fall back into the pillow with a sigh. Somewhere deep down she knew that it was important to get up, get ‘breakfast’, and work on her coursework. She seriously needed to step up her game if she didn’t want to get kicked out of uni.

It took her another two whole hours before she couldn’t handle the pressure on her bladder anymore and decided to get out of bed to pee. She put out one leg first, then the other and then she pushed herself up from the position she was in. She was sure she looked like a mess, sitting on the edge of her bed, contemplating if it was really worth it to get out of bed at all today.

She managed to get to the bathroom eventually, and when she was washing her hands afterwards she realised that she looked just as bad as she felt. Her stomach rumbled, which was a signal for her to go to the kitchen and find something to eat.

Julie walked into the living room she shared with Alex, only to find him sitting behind something that looked like an electric drum kit. She had absolutely no clue where the instrument came from, but she would ask about that later. His hands and feet were moving fast, but coordinated. It looked like he had been doing this for years, and it sure as hell looked like he was having a lot of fun.

Julie was just wondering how long it would take him to notice her, when his eyes shifted from the drumming kit to the figure staring at him. A grin seemed to automatically appear on his face as soon as he spotted her.

“Glad you see you’re still alive,” he smiled at her while his hands and feet were still playing with the drumming kit.

“Barely.” It was the first work she spoke today and her voice managed to crack during the short duration of it. “I feel sick.”

Alex’ facial expression changed from happy and humorous to a look of horror.

“Ohno- no no.. please don’t. You have no idea how much effort it took me to clean up your vomit of the toilet seat last night,” he stuttered, stopping his drumming movements completely now.

“Oh shit, what happened?” Julie paused for a moment. “Did I do something stupid?”

“The answer to the last question is: oh hell yes,” Alex chuckled before he continued, “you and Flynn went way too far tonight. I don’t know what your remember exactly, but after you both finished one and a half bottle of wine each, you girls went clubbing. I have no clue what exactly happened there, but you started throwing up like you were a human waterfall 5 minutes after you came home. Flynn said something about going home to her fiancée, I haven’t seen her since.”

“Oh-“ Julie started but she was interrupted by Alex rattling on. She rubbed her head while listened to the words coming out of his mouth.

“You know what, just sit and relax. I don’t feel like cleaning up any more human fluids anymore today.” Julie wanted to protest but didn’t have the chance, since Alex immediately left his spot from behind the drumming kit and made his way over to her. His strong hands grabbed her shoulders softly, pushing her slowly down on the couch. A small groan escaped Julie’s mouth, caused by the sick feeling in her stomach and the increased throbbing in her head. It was then and there that she decided that she should indeed not move too much today.

“This is going to be a one time thing, but let me do all the work today, alright? I really want to make fun of you but I don’t think you can handle that right now. I’ll remember the jokes for later this week,” he said before he made his way over to the kitchen. “Do you want a cup of tea?”

Julie nodded slightly, making sure she did not move her head to much in the process. Alex shot her another cheesy grin before he put water in the water boiler and turned it on.

“Man, I can’t wait until Luke and Reggie hear about this. Our first night as roommates together is one for the history books,” he chuckled while he waited for the water to finish boiling.

“I’m sorry, Reggie.. Luke.. who?” Julie asked. While she tried to listen to Alex, she also tried to get her head around all the coursework that she still had to do.

“Reggie, Luke, you know our-“ He stopped himself halfway through his sentence, his smile fading a bit once again. “ -my bandmates. I’m sorry, I keep forgetting that you haven’t met them already. I’ll introduce you to them tomorrow. Here you go,” he said while he put down the cup of steaming hot tea. The combination of tea and milk had a light brown/beige colour, which suggested a perfect taste.

“Oh yeah sure, I would love to meet them. Just.. yeah tomorrow is fine. Not now. Tomorrow I’ll probably feel less like I’m dead,” she said while she blew some air at the hot liquid, in the hope of cooling it down more quickly.

“How ironic.”

“What?” Confusion was reflected in Julie’s voice.

“Nothing, never mind. Do you need anything? A book, something to eat, coursework?” He continued, completely dismissing what he said about being dead before.

“Uhm yeah I’m quite hungry, but I’m not sure whether I should eat breakfast, lunch or dinner since it’s like 4 pm right now. And could you grab me my coursework for Art History?”

Alex nodded before he made his way over to Julie’s bedroom.

“Maybe I can make us both dinner? You can do whatever you need to do for uni and I’ll feed you in like an hour.” It seemed like he had already made the decision to act on what he said, because he dropped the coursework in Julie her lap before he made his way over to the kitchen.

Julie mumbled a small thanks before she opened her book. She looked up to see him already grabbing some pots and pans in the kitchen, clearly not knowing his way around the place yet.

“Yeah, dinner would be nice. Thank you,” she made sure not to speak too loudly, trying to avoid making her throat even more sore. “I swear, normally I am more fun than this. I’m sorry.”

“Oh I know that,” Alex chuckled absently, staring in the fridge to find some ingredients for a good meal.

“What?” Julie didn’t know if it was just the hangover that made her process things slower, but half of the things this guy said didn’t make any sense to her today.

“Oh nothing, don’t mind me mumbling. So what do you want to drink during dinner?” His famous grin appeared once again before he gave his own suggestion. “Wine?”

Julie couldn’t help but chuckle. She was not entirely sure why, but she had the feeling that she and Alex would become great friends someday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> Damn. I can't believe it. 6 bookmarks, 58 kudos and 435 hits?! Thank you guys so much!! Honestly, you have no idea how much it means to me. Please leave a comment behind, I would love to get to know you all!
> 
> My little autumn break is over, which means work and uni starts again for me tomorrow. I can't write as often as I would like, but I think the next chapter will be uploaded on Friday or Saturday. I realise that barely anything happened in chapter 3, I'm sorry. I promise, next chapter Luke and Reggie will make their first appearance as well! 
> 
> Also: English is not my first language so if you have any tips/critical points please let me know! I'm always open for ways to get better at writing.


	4. Chapter 4

"So what did you think of the movie?" Jake asked curiously while shaking the last few pieces of popcorn on his right hand. He offered them to her by putting his hand out, but when she quietly shook her head he threw them all into his mouth at once.

"Yeah, it was quite good," Julie paused before she took a gulp from her water bottle, "I don't know though. The story itself was good but I didn't really connect to any of the main characters."

They followed the mass of people out of the cinema.

"Are you kidding? This was definitely one of the best plots AND casts that I have seen in a while," Jake exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air for the extra dramatic effect. He could be very passionate about something when he wanted to, which was definitely a good trait in a person.

"Oh I'm sorry-" Julie started, but she was interrupted by her boyfriend. He had been walking just half a step ahead of her, but turned around now and softly put his hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, hey, no need to apologize. What's going on, Julie? You seem a bit off today," he spoke quietly, making sure that the people around them couldn't hear them.

"Yeah, it's just.. the whole Flynn moving in with Rose thing, you know. It's weird that she is leaving me after all this time we've lived together," Julie said, her eyes looking anywhere but at Jake. She didn't know exactly what made her feel this way, but she had noticed as well that her mind had been of this weekend. The weird stuff with this new guy, Alex, didn't help either.

Jake quickly nodded before he put his finger under her chin, forcing her took look him straight in the eyes.

"You girls will be alright, it takes time to adjust to the situation. Before you know it everything will be back to normal, except for the fact that she lives somewhere else," he paused before he continued, "Plus, maybe you and I will be moving in together soon as well."

Every time he would mention something like this, something that would take them a step forward in their relationship, Julie would cramp up. Today was no exception. Her breath stopped for a moment and she felt her heartbeat quicken, but not in a good way.

This was what a relationship was supposed to look like, right? Then why did she feel like taking a symbolic step back every time he took one closer?

"Yeah, sorry I will be fine. I'm just really tired as well. Can you drop me off at home? Flynn is coming over for dinner today," she apologized.

The fact that she didn't say anything about moving in together obviously didn't do good to him, since the kindness in his eyes was partly replaced by hurt.

"Sure, come on I'll take you home," he nodded before he put his arm around her shoulder and directed her towards his car.

The ride back was quiet. Julie stared out of the window, her eyes mindless drifting from car to car that was passing by. Wasn't it weird that everyone in these different cars had their own life story? Every person looked to the world from their own eyes and linked things that happened to their own experiences, which meant that the world looked different to everyone.

She only realised they were back home when Jake shut the engine down. She tilted her head up from the window and noticed a figure, who could only be Flynn, waiting outside of the building.

"It seems that your favourite person is waiting for you. What are you going to eat?" Jake asked while he turned to look at her.

"I don't know, Alex said that he would cook for us. So it's a surprise, I guess."

"Wait, your new roommate, this Alex, it's a guy?" Jake leaned a bit back, his eyebrows went up and his smile faltered. "I assumed they would place you with a girl again. Aren't those the university housing rules?"

"Yeah Alex is a guy, but nothing to worry about. He is, as he called it himself, 'very gay'," Julie chuckled.

"Yeah but gay guys probably have straight friends as well," he paused for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes, "Julie, you know how I feel about you hanging out with other guys."

She felt her heart drop. She most certainly knew how he felt about her hanging out with other guys, it would be hard to miss. It was unclear to her why exactly, but she had assumed that she would be allowed to have a gay roommate and become good friends with him. The tone in Jake's voice however suggested otherwise.

"I know. Everything will be fine, don't worry." For some reason, tears formed behind her eyes. She didn't want Jake to know his words affected her this much, so she managed to swallow them down. "I've got to go now, Flynn is waiting. Love you, bye," she said quickly before she gave him a quick peck on his cheek and opened the car door.

She took a deep breath and tried to force uneasy feeling she got in the car out of her. It was going to be a fun night. She and Flynn would just have a very normal dinner with her new roommate, Alex. That's all.

"What's up Julie! Ohmygod, it's so weird to be here together while I don't live here anymore, you know. I'm wondering what Alex is cooking for us. Has he been an okay roommate until now?" Flynn started rambling on, leaving no time between her sentences for Julie to react. She felt a bit better now that Flynn was chatting happily to her, but she couldn't ignore uneasy feeling in her gut.

"Yeah, Alex is great. I'm sure you will like him," Julie smiled at her, giving her a quick hug before they walked into the building together. They walked upstairs to their 'apartment', while Flynn kept on talking and Julie would just agree and nod to the things she said from time to time.

They didn't really have an apartment, but it was surely bigger than most student dorms. Every floor had one 'apartment' which had two bedrooms, a small living room, a bathroom and its own kitchen. The rest of the rooms on the floor were just bedrooms for two students. They shared a bigger kitchen and bathroom together with all of them. The students who get to live in the apartment were the lucky chosen ones. They were all randomly picked and had to pay the same price as the other students. Julie still remembered the day she and Flynn were picked for the apartment clearly. They were so happy that they threw a huge party, inviting all of Julie's family and the family members of Flynn she still was in contact with. Julie smiled at the thought of that day.

They walked to hallway where the front door of the apartment was. The soft, dark blue carpet in the hallway made sure that you were barely able to hear their footsteps as they approached the door. As they came closer, muffled voices could be heard from the apartment. Flynn was still talking as well, but Julie put her hand up to signal to her that she should be quiet. They both tiptoed to the front door, putting their ears against it. Julie felt bad about doing this, since she was very set on her own privacy and boundaries as well, but she couldn't help herself.

"What do you mean, she doesn't remember us?" A voice sounded through the apartment.

"Like I said. Neither she, nor Flynn gave me any sign of recognition," Alex responded.

"But how is this possible? After all we've been through together a few years ago," a third person exclaimed.

"I don't know man. I just don't. But we'll figure it out together, like always," Alex sighed.

Julie pushed herself a bit away from the door, looking into Flynn her eyes. The confusion Julie felt was reflected in them.

"Anyways, she could come home anytime soon, so maybe we should stop talking about. She isn't handling the whole Flynn moving out part too well. Three guys claiming that they know her probably won't help." Alex his voice grew louder, which suggested that he was walking in the direction of the front door.

Julie pushed herself back upright in the hallway and she saw Flynn do the same thing. Julie fumbled in her bag for her keys. She felt bad enough about listening to their conversation already, and she couldn't ignore the rumbling feeling in her stomach. She was about to put the keys in the lock, when she was stopped in her movements once again.

"Luke, I know you probably don't want to hear this but I think it's better if you hear it from me.." Alex started. He was silent for a moment before he continued talking. "Julie just came back from a date. They went to see a movie."

"She's seeing someone?" The hurt reflected in this guy, Luke, his voice was impossible to miss.

"She's actually been in a long term relationship with someone called Jake for a while now," Alex said, sounding very careful about the choosing of his words.

Julie turned around to look at Flynn, somehow thinking that she would have an explanation for all this. Her movement caused the keys in her hand to collide with each other, making a clinging sound.

"Someone's coming home. Time to end this conversation," the third voice said quietly.

Julie took this as her queue to open the door there and then. She carefully pushed the door open and stepped into the warm apartment. She was met by three sets eyes, all of them reflecting both hurt and curiosity.

It was Alex who got out of his trance first.

"Hey Julie, Flynn!" He grinned at them. "Is it okay if my friends, and bandmates, join for dinner as well?" He casually asked while waving his hand somewhere behind him, trying to point at the two other guys. The guys awkwardly smiled and waved for a moment.

The voice of Jake was still clearly in her head. She knew how he felt about her hanging out with other guys. But she couldn't kick Alex his friends out, right? She convinced herself that Jake wouldn't find out about this anyways.

She smiled at the guys before waving back.

"Sure, the more the merrier right?" Julie said before looking back at Flynn. "Is it okay with you?"

"Ah hell yes!" Flynn exclaimed before stepping closer to Julie. "You know I'm gay, but girl these guys are HOT," she whispered so only Julie could hear.

Julie rolled her eyes before turning back towards the new guys in the living room. She walked over to the couch the guys were sitting on, extending her hand to introduce herself.

The brown haired guy with the hat on quickly pushed himself up from the couch, extending his hand towards Julie. He was quickly followed by the third guy, who was just a bit skinnier and had black hair, but he seemed to be just as tall.

"Nice, to meet you. I'm Julie." She couldn't help but notice how big and warm his hands were.

"Luke," he smiled at her. However, his eyes didn't completely reflect this emotion.

The firm grip on her hand felt somehow familiar. It took her a moment to let go and move on to the next guy.

"What's up Jul-" He interrupted himself halfway through his sentence. "I mean, nice to meet you, I'm Reggie."

"Julie," she smiled at him before letting go of his hand.

"Alright, dinner is ready!" Alex exclaimed while he walked towards the dinner table and put the steaming hot pan down.

Julie let out a sigh of relief. The rumbling feeling in her stomach had been bothering her for a while now. She made her way over to the dinner table and sat down.

She couldn't shake off the feeling that this would be an interesting dinner they would have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Once again, thank you so much for reading this story and for voting. Still can't believe that people are actually interested in what I write. I woke up monday morning to so many comments in my inbox! That's a good way to start off your week :). 
> 
> I said that she would meet Luke and Reggie this chapter and that technically happened. But I actually also wanted to write out their whole dinner in this chapter but it was 2000 words already (and I also have to stuff for work and uni :( ). I'm a teacher actually and I'm the same when I teach: I say things like 'yeah we'll do this this this this and this next lesson' and I never have enough time for everything. So that's reflected a bit in my writing for this story as well haha I'm sorry. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well and don't be shy to say hi (that rhymes, hell yeah!).
> 
> Fun fact: Julie and the Phantoms actually got me a bit more into music again. I learned how to play Edge of Great on the guitar and bass guitar last week, and I can almost play Unsaid Emily on the piano now. Do you play any instruments as well?


	5. Chapter 5

"So, how do you girls know each other?" Reggie asked. He signalled for Julie to pass over her plate, so he could put some food on it. The food didn't only smell like it came straight from heaven, it looked like it came from up there as well. The pieces of pasta were mixed with a very creamy sauce, bacon and some vegetables.

"Our friendship goes waaay back. I think we met in kindergarten?" Julie asked Flynn while she took her plate back over and put it down. She grabbed Flynn's plate and handed it over to Reggie.

"Yeah, I think we became friends in kindergarten. But our parents were old friends, so we have basically known each other since we were babies," Flynn agreed. She thankfully took back her plate when Reggie decided there was enough food on it.

When everyone's plate was filled, Reggie brought the pan back to the kitchen and sat down in front of Julie again. Next to him was Alex. On the other side of the table, you had Flynn, Julie and Luke sitting next to each other in that order.

"Awesome. So it must be weird that Flynn is moving out, right? How long have you guys lived together?" Reggie continued curiously. He put a piece of pasta on his fork and quickly put in his mouth, clearly enjoying the taste of it.

Alex made a quick move, followed by a 'bonk' from under the table and Reggie almost choking on his food.

"Dude, what is your problem?" Reggie asked in between coughs.

"Boundaries, Reginald. You and I both know that it's not easy for them to take this step," he said before he took another bite, "If they want to tell you this kind of stuff, they'll let you know." He put his hand in front of his mouth so he could continue talking while he was chewing on his food.  
"I'm sorry about him," Alex politely apologized to Julie and Flynn.

Flynn chuckled slightly before she swallowed her food.

"It's okay, really," Flynn paused for a moment, "We have lived here together for a little longer than a year, I think. But I actually moved in with Julie and her aunt for the last two years of high school. So we have lived together for a little more than three years."

Julie noticed the confused look on the faces of the three guys. Their expressions didn't surprise her. It wasn't everyday that you would hear about a teenager leaving her own parental home and moving in with her best friend.

"Her parents weren't very accepting when Flynn came out to them-" Julie started to explain, but she was interrupted by Flynn herself.

"No, let me," Flynn set quietly.  
"I never realized I was only into girls until a bit later in high school. I met this awesome girl named Rose, and after two dates we were completely in love. I didn't even think about it twice and told my parents that I was in a relationship with this amazing girl," Flynn paused for a moment, "So I think you could imagine how much it hurt when they immediately kicked me out of the house."

"I'm sorry about that, Flynn. You deserve better," Luke said quietly, while playing with his food. He looked up in the direction of Flynn and gave her a sympathic smile.

"Yeah that sucks, I'm sorry Flynn," Reggie agreed while he looked apologetically at her.

Alex was the only one who didn't respond. He avoided any eye contact and kept aggressively chewing on his food. The colour of his knuckles had turned from red to white, which suggested that his grip on his knife and fork was very tight. However, Julie decided to let it go. She would check in on him later to see if he was okay.

A moment of silence returned to the table while they were all chewed their food contently. Even though Julie already felt very full, she couldn't stop eating because of the amazing taste of the meal.

"So uhm, Julie.. Flynn mentioned that you lived together with your aunt?" Luke asked after a while, choosing his words carefully.

"Yeah what about your Carl-" Reggie started but was cut off by Alex, who smacked him across the head pretty hard. "I mean, did your aunt raise you?" Reggie corrected himself. Alex looked at Reggie like the guy was crazy, but didn't act further on it.

Carlos. Her little brother. His smile. The enthusiasm in his voice whenever they would do something fun with the three of them after her mother had passed away. The way he wrapped his tiny arms around you when he hugged you.

It was one of those weird moments with the guys again. How did Reggie know about Carlos? She narrowed her eyes, but decided to let it go for a moment.

"No, my parents raised me. But my mother passed away during high school. My father and brother died in a car crash a year later," Julie spoke quietly, she played with her food but didn't put anything directly on her fork.

"I'm sorry Julie, we didn't know," Alex responded after a long silence.

"It's okay," she paused for a moment. The memories of her father and brother wouldn't stop popping up in her head. Their family dinners. Their trip to Alaska that one time. Breakfast together. The way her father never managed to punish them properly because he was just too good at heart.  
"Can we talk about something else please?" she interrupted her own thoughts, in the hope that the guys and Flynn would successfully distract her. Julie looked up for a moment, her eyes meeting Reggie's. He swallowed and blinked away what seemed to be tears.

"Of course," Flynn answered quickly before she changed the topic. "So, Alex, Luke, Reggie, you are in a band? What kind of music do you make?"

Julie heard that the guys answered, but she had no clue what they were saying. The sound of them talking sounded muffled to her ears.

Music. Performing. A band. Her first show after her mom passed.

_"Just go ahead. Me and Carlos are running a bit late. We'll be there in time for your performance, don't worry," her father smiled at her before he kissed her temple. Julie yelled a quick goodbye and 'love you' before she ran out of the door._

Little did she know back then that she would never see them again. The memory was still very clear in her head.

The principle walking up to her with a frown on her face, wiping away tears. The blue flashing lights of police cars arriving at her school. The way Flynn held her when they told her the news.

It was the worst she had ever felt. She wouldn't wish it on anyone.

"Julie, are you okay?" She was pulled out of her thoughts by the sentence that she had heard way too often.

She looked up to see four pairs of eyes staring at her.

"I'm sorry- I- I need some air," she quickly said before pushing her chair back and getting up from the table. She grabbed her keys from the couch and walked to the front door as fast as she could. She smashed it closed behind her when she walked into the hallway and ran over to the elevator.

\--------------------

Julie stared at the dark sky that hung over the city. The stars and the little lights reflected by cars, lampposts and buildings made the whole scene quite beautiful. She had no clue how long she had been sitting there, before a voice behind her interrupted her thoughts.

"Hey, Flynn told me I would find you here." It was the guy named Luke. She looked back at him to see that he was holding her jacket. He stopped in his tracks when he noticed her tearstained face.

"Can I sit next to you?" He quietly asked.

Julie just nodded in response before turning her gaze back to the view of the city. She felt two hands softly put her jacket over her shoulders.

"I thought you might be cold," Luke explained.

"Thank you," Julie said quietly, her voice strained because of the many tears that had left her eyes.

"I know we just met, but I just wanted to check up on you," he started. They both stared at lights reflected by the city.  
"I don't know if you want to talk about it, but just know that you can talk to us about anything. To all three of us, and I think Flynn as well."

Julie swallowed back her tears before she nodded slightly, processing his words.

"It's just stupid, you know. It's been years. Years. And still, when I think about my parents and my brother, I feel like shit," she started rambling on.  
"It was the first time I would perform again. I used to play music with my mother all the time. Especially the piano. She would write a song, she would teach me, and then we would perform it for the rest of the family together. When she passed away, I didn't play the piano for a year. I don't remember exactly why, but at one point I decided to try again."

She turned away from the view of the city and looked at Luke. He nodded slightly, signalling her to go on. His eyebrows lowered a bit into a frown.

"It was going to be my first performance again. We had an open mic night at the school. My father, brother and aunt promised to come to the school and watch. I went early together with Flynn and my aunt to do the sound check. My father and brother were supposed to come with us as well, but they were running a bit late. Dad promised that they would be on time for my performance.." Julie wiped away a tear with her right hand.

"They had a car accident. Drunk driver, driving on the wrong side of the road. It may sound weird, but they were both dead on impact. At least they didn't suffer," Julie continued her story. She wanted to continue, but the flow of tears that escaped from her tears made it hard for her to talk. She directed her eyes back from Luke to the city again.

"I loved making music. I loved it. Still do. But I can't. I can't look at a piano without thinking about my family. Every time I see an instrument, I feel so incredibly sad." A sob escaped her mouth.

When she looked back at Luke, she noticed the concern reflected in his eyes. She didn't know how to continue her story, so she just looked back at the lights of the city.

"You know, it's not weird at all that you feel like this. I think you're incredibly strong for telling me all this," he paused for a moment, "You barely even know me."

Julie shifted her eyes back to him when he stopped talking for a moment. She couldn't help but notice him playing nervously with his hands. His eyes were avoiding hers now.

"I lost my parents as well. They are still alive, but we were always fighting when I was younger. It's quite complicated, but let's just say that I ran away from home and I can probably never make it right again," he stared at his hands. He fumbled with a piece of paper that he had taken from his pocket. Something was written on it, but Julie couldn't read what it said.  
"What I mean to say is. I missed my chance to set things straight and correct the mistakes that I made. I don't want the same thing to happen to you," he continued.

Julie grabbed a tissue from her back pocket to wipe away the stream of tears on her face, and blow her runny nose.

"If you love music, then that's what you have got to do. You lost your parents and your brother, yes. But you all shared your passion for music! Make them proud. Show them what you are capable of. I'm sure they are watching from above." He folded the piece of paper again and put is back in his pocket.

"I just don't know how, Luke. I can't play the piano anymore without having a breakdown," Julie answered quietly.

"Then forget about the piano. Just get in touch with music again. The piano will come later," he paused for a moment, "I'll teach you how to play the guitar. Just step by step. We'll start with one note at a time. And whenever you want to stop, we stop."

Julie processed what he said. She would love to get back into music. She just wasn't sure whether she would be able to handle it.

"Can I think about it?" She asked.

"Like I said. Take all the time you need," he smiled at her.

"Okay," she said before she put her hands on the ground next to her and tried to push herself up. However, he muscles felt incredibly stiff from the long time she had been sitting at the ground. She pushed herself up a bit before she fell back down to the ground. She looked up just to see that Luke had already gotten up again and grinned at her while she struggled.

He stuck out his hand to her and pulled her up when she grabbed it.

They both quietly walked in the direction of the elevator again.

"Hey, Luke?" Julie started shyly.

He nodded for her to go on.

"Thank you for tonight. I seriously appreciate it," she added quietly.

"Of course. That's what friends are for," he smiled at her before they walked into the elevator. Julie took one more look at the beautiful city, mentally preparing herself to get back to the real world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> So it took me a while because of work and uni, but there you go!  
> A bit more Juke in this chapter ;) What do you think so far??
> 
> Also! I just saw that 81 people have a subscription to this story!! That's amazing! Thank you so much!


	6. Chapter 6

“Julie! Julie! Julie! Look what we got!”

Julie was pulled out of her concentration by the loud voice of Reggie, who stumbled into her bedroom. He held something in the air, but moved so fast that Julie couldn’t figure out what it was. Luke and Alex followed him a bit more calmly, but looked pretty hyped as well.

“What is it?” Julie asked while she put her pen down and decided to give up on her course work for now. The three of them clearly needed some attention.

“A phone! Look you can like touch it and then it does things!” Reggie exclaimed.

“And you can call without it being attached to a wire,” Luke added. Alex just grinned at her while holding his smartphone proudly in the air. Julie raised one eyebrow.

“You guys- you- why- you disturb me to tell about a simple phone?” Julie deadpanned.

“Yeah but did you see that you can touch things and then-“ Reggie started again but was interrupted by Julie.

“Reggie, out. Luke, you as well, you are distracting me,” she paused for a moment while the first two left. She looked at Alex who was just grinning at his phone, “Alex, do you have something useful to add?”

“Uhm yeah we wrote our numbers down so you would be able to reach me or the guys, if you ever need us,” Alex said before he put down a piece of paper with some numbers scribbled on them. Julie mumbled a thank you before she shood him out as well.

She quickly put the numbers in her phone and send them all a text so they would have her number as well. She went back to studying and working on her term paper for another ten minutes, before she was disturbed once again. This time it was Luke, who was softly knocking on her door post before he leaned into the bedroom.

“Hey, I was wondering. Do you maybe want to try another guitar lesson now?” He nervously asked, like he wasn’t even sure if he was allowed to be there after Julie send him out.

It had been a week since their first guitar lesson. The first time, she broke down after playing one note. One note. She held the guitar, put her finger on the fretboard, pulled the string and broke down in tears. Just like that.

They had tried it a second time later that week. Same story, but she broke down after playing a chord instead of just one note. Long story short, it didn’t go as well as Julie had hoped. She hoped that even though she knew she was still struggling, somehow playing guitar with Luke would make her sadness magically disappear. To her surprise, Luke didn’t get mad at all. Both times, as soon as he realised she couldn’t handle it anymore, he put away their guitars and distracted her. The first time they just went for a walk and talked a bit. The second time he, her and Reggie worked on an art project that was due at the end of the semester. At the end of their painting session, there had been more paint all over them than on the actual canvas. They knew how to bring a smile back to her face when she couldn’t do it herself.

It still took her off guard that Luke kept coming up with guitar lessons, even though they didn’t go that well. She stayed quiet for a bit, thinking through her options here.

On the one hand, if she would say no and just keep working, maybe she would finish her course work for once. On the other hand, she probably wouldn’t get anything done when the guys were around. Besides, isn’t that what your time as a university student is supposed to look like, hanging out with friends and making irresponsible choices?

She shut down her study book a little too hard for her liking, so she quietly apologized to it.

“Yeah, sure. I couldn’t focus on my paper anymore anyways,” she said before she grabbed the book and shoved it into her drawer.

“Awesome, let me grab my guitar,” Luke grinned before he walked out.

Julie walked to the other side of her room and grabbed the old, acoustic guitar. It was one of Luke’s old guitars, but he said she could borrow it for the time being. Before she even managed to sit down and put the guitar on her lap, Luke marched into the room again, proudly carrying his favourite 6-string. They both said down on Julie’s big and cosy looking bed, facing each other.

“Before we start with the lesson, I wanted to let you hear something,” Luke mumbled while he tuned his guitar. Julie nodded, patiently waiting for him to start playing. Before he started playing, he looked at her hopefully. He calmly strummed a few different chords.

“Sometimes I think I’m falling down.   
I wanna cry, I’m calling out.  
For one more try to feel alive,” he sang, hitting every single note just right.

Julie felt her heart skip a beat. She had the biggest déjà vu feeling she had ever experienced.   
Why did this song feel so familiar? Why did it feel like she knew it by heart? If it had been a big hit on the radio, she would have remembered, right?

“Luke, what is this so-“ She put her hand up to signal Luke to stop, but was interrupted herself by the buzzing sound of her phone going off. She looked at the screen to see ‘Jake’ reflected on it.

She put down the guitar and pushes herself of the bed, quickly apologizing to Luke. She had no clue why exactly, but his eyes seemed to be sparkling with hope when she walked past him towards her desk.

She grabbed her phone from the wooden texture and picked it up.

“Hey honey,” she answered.

“Hey babe, what are you doing?” He spoke.

Julie looked at Luke sitting on her bed, strumming some random muted chords. She felt a flicker of doubt inside of her before she decided to lie. The endless discussion about how she shouldn’t hang out with other guys was one she rather avoided.

“I’m just doing some course work, I’m still behind on everything,” she quickly lied. She saw Luke look up at her curiously. Just at that moment, Reggie walked in. In his hands he had a book with ‘Music Theory’ written on the cover.

“Hey dude, do you know what we have to read for class tomorrow?” Reggie asked Luke casually. Luke quickly put his index fingers against his lips, signalling for Reggie to be more quiet.

“Yeah, page 131 to 150. But Julie is calling Jake,” he whispered in an attempt to not be noticed by the caller on the other side of the phone.

“Who’s with you?” Julie her thoughts were pulled back to the phone when Jake spoke, sounding a bit irritated.

“Oh, it’s just Alex.” She felt her heartbeat quicken and blood rose to her cheeks.

“I heard two different voices,” Jake stated, “You know what, I wanted to ask you to come over tonight for dinner. But why don’t you just come over right now?”

The cold undertone in his voice gave Julie chills all over her body. She looked over at Luke and Reggie, who were watching her curiously. She didn’t know why, but she would rather stay here with them right now then go over to Jake’s place. However, he was her boyfriend after all. She would go over and explain everything. He couldn’t be mad at her for playing music again, right? He would understand. He knew how hard it was for her. She let out a small, quiet sigh before she responded.

“Yeah sure, I will be right over,” she said, hanging up on him without waiting for his response. She put her phone in the back pocket of her jeans.

“Everything alright, Jules?” Reggie asked calmly but cautiously. They had been calling her that ever since they met her. At first, she thought it was a bit weird, but she decided just to go with it.

“Yeah- no- yeah,” she stumbled over her words while she looked for her jacket. She finally spotted it on her desk chair and quickly grabbed it.

“You’re allowed to say no,” Luke said quietly. Worry was reflected in his eyes when he looked at her putting her jacket on.

“No, it’s fine. I’m just going over to Jake’s place,” she paused for a moment, “He needs me, I’m sorry guys. I’ll see you later today okay?”

They both nodded before she stormed out of her bedroom. She walked passed Alex who was sitting on the couch, reading the same book as Reggie had held in his hands. He was quietly humming along to the music that was send from his phone to his ears by his earphones. However, when he noticed Julie, he put one of the earbuds out.

“Oh hey, where are you going?” He asked, grinning at her.

“Uhm, I’m going to Jake. I’ll see you later,” she said before she hurried towards the front door.

“Oh Jules! Before you leave, can you give me Flynn’s number? I need to ask her something!” He yelled when she was about to close the door after her.

“Yeah, I’ll do it later, bye,” she distractedly yelled back. She immediately closed the door afterwards, not waiting for another response.

She hurried through the building. She didn’t know why she felt so stressed out and nervous. She was just going to see her boyfriend. Everything should be fine, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Thank you sooo much for all your comments AND the fact that you are still enjoying this (I think???).  
> Anyways, this story had 99 subscriptions?! Like, people who want to read more? How, why? Did I do something right?  
> Would be awesome though to get it to 100 (that's good for my ego). We'll see if it happens!
> 
> Enjoy it for now, and prepare for some drama next chapter ;)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Mention of alcohol and physical abuse.

Julie watched the grey front door of Jake his apartment. She had been standing there for at least 5 minutes now, just staring at it without showing any intention of actually knocking on it.

The apartment behind the door held nothing but good memories. Endless nights of them staying up, talking about life, having fun. Getting way too drunk together. Cooking together. Date nights. Watching movies together. Preparing to go to parties together. Studying for tests together.

But still, when she approached the apartment today, she felt reluctant to knock on the door. Just when she decided to step forward and announce her presence, the door was opened from the inside. Jake took a step back in surprise when he noticed her.

"Oh hey honey, come in. I was wondering what took you so long," he paused for a moment before looking down at the plastic bag in his hands, "I was just about to put the garbage outside. But you can come in, I will be back in a few minutes." He took a step forward and gave her a quick peck on the lips, before he walked past her in the direction of the exit of the building. She couldn't help but notice the smell of alcohol on his breath when he kissed her.

Julie walked into his apartment, barely processing what just happened. She awkwardly walked into the living room, strolling over to the kettle to make herself some tea.

He had sounded cold and irritated over the phone, but he showed none of these emotions just then. However, Julie still didn't feel as relaxed as she normally did when she was with Jake. She was just pouring the steaming hot water into a mug, when she heard the front door open again.

"Hey, do you want some tea as well?" she yelled in the direction of the door.

"No, thanks. I poured myself a drink just now already," Jake answered. After he put his jacket on the coat rack, he walked over to the counter and grabbed his drink.

"Julie, I think we should sit down and talk," he said before taking a sip of the dark brown liquid. He nodded his head in the direction of the table, suggesting her to sit down for a moment. She pulled the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands and grabbed the hot mug of tea. She quietly followed him to the white table and sat down on the other side, facing him. She tried to avoid eye contact however, because she had a feeling of where this was going.

Jake finished the rest of his drink in once gulp, before grabbing the bottle of whiskey from the corner of the table. He refilled his glass before offering the bottle to Julie. She politely shook her hand before mumbling a quiet 'no thank you'.

"Maybe we should have this talk when you're sober," Julie felt her heart thump in her chest. She could hear the rhythmic sound of the big muscle in her ears.

"No, we should do it now," Jake stated firmly. He put his glass down loudly on the table.  
"You and I both know that things in our relationship aren't going like they are supposed to," he continued.

"Jake, I don't-" Julie tried, but she couldn't get far before he interrupted her again.

"We barely talk. Any communication or initiative comes from my side. You say you're busy studying, but apparently, you tend to hang out with a lot of guys in your apartment as well." Jake looked like he wasn't done talking yet, but they were interrupted by the sound of Julie's phone. She grabbed the buzzing device from her pocket to watch a message appear on the screen.

_Flynn: Hey J, you alright? I just came over to your apartment, but you weren't there. Luke said you acted weird after a phone call with Jake._

Julie let her eyes quickly scan the text.

"Who's texting you?" Jake said right before he finished his drink once again. He was about to grab the bottle of whiskey again when Julie spoke up.

"Maybe you've had enough," she said, looking up from her phone. The scowl on Jake's face made her immediately regret that decision.

"Don't tell me what I can't do," he said, before he filled his glass with whiskey once again, "I said, who's texting you?"

"Oh, it's just Flynn. She wondered where I was since I wasn't home," Julie said quickly before locking her screen again. She was about to put the phone back in her pocket when Jake grabbed her wrist.

"Show me," he said, irritation clearly being present in his voice.

Julie looked at his hand around her wrist. His normally warm and soft hands, suddenly felt cold and rough. She hesitated for a moment. That moment was too long apparently, because Jake suddenly jerked her wrist in his direction. Julie was pulled out of her seat, awkwardly hanging over the table. She felt a sharp pain in her wrist.

"Let go, Jake, you're hurting me," she said, trying to pull free from his grip. He grabbed her phone from her hand, before letting go of her arm.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled while trying to figure out how to unlock her phone. Just at that moment, her phone buzzed again. The screen lit up and Jake's eyes quickly moved over the text that had just arrived.

"Who's Reggie?" He looked up at her.

"Reggie is a friend and bandmate of Alex, relax," Julie snapped back irritated.

"A friend who's checking in on you, huh?" Jake paused before he showed her the screen.

Julie quickly read the text.

_Reggie: Hey, just wanted to check if you're alright?_

"You fucking him on the side, or what?" Jake said.

"What? No. He's just a friend," Julie squinted her eyes at her boyfriend, trying to make sense of the words he slurred.   
"He, Alex and Luke are actually helping me get back into music again. I tried to play the guitar a few days ago." Even though they weren't really on good terms right now, she couldn't help but look up proudly at Jake. He knew how hard making music was to her. He knew how much she struggled with it. She actually didn't want to tell him until she could play a song for him, to show him how much she had improved. But when she looked him in the eyes, she didn't see anything in them but irritation and anger.

She felt her stomach drop.

"I can't believe you," he slurred, "How many times do I have to tell you? You should not hang out with other guys."

"Jake- I- I can't believe you don't trust me," Julie said. She looked down at her mug of tea and took a sip of the already cooled down liquid.  
"You know what, I think I'm leaving. I'm done with you bossing me around like I'm your possession," she said before pushing her chair back and pushing herself to her feet.

"You're not going anywhere before we're done talking," Jake said. He tried to get up as well, but the alcohol in his blood had clearly affected his muscles. He fell back into his chair almost instantly.

Julie felt something snap inside. There she was, playing the good girlfriend. Explaining all her actions to him. And what did she get in return? A boyfriend who showed not one sign of trust.

"Okay, if you want me to stay here and talk, then you better listen to me," she took a deep breath before she continued, "Yes, I am your girlfriend but I am NOT your possession. A relationship should be built on mutual trust and respect. You're not showing signs of that AT ALL right now." Her voice grew louder as her emotions grew stronger.

"Don't talk to me like that. Don't act like I'M the problem here," Jake yelled back, angrily slamming his fist down on the table.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm the problem in this relationship. But this is clearly NOT working right now," Julie said back, looking him directly in the eyes.

"What are you saying?" Jake asked, successfully getting to his feet now as well. However, he stumbled a bit back and grabbed the chair for support.

"Maybe we should take a break. Think this relationship through," Julie calm, but firmly said. She had no idea how she sounded so self-assured, while she felt like breaking down on the inside. She swallowed back tears that welled up in her eyes.

"You can't break up with me. You'll have no one left," he slurred, "Can't you see Julie? Everyone around you either dies or leaves you. Look at your family. Even Flynn has left you for Rose now. If you push me away, you have no one. Your stupid boy band gang is only temporary as well."

Julie balled her fists, her nails pushing down hard in the skin of her hand palm. She felt the skin under them rip apart, but ignored it for the moment.

"You did not just say that." She quickly wiped away the tear that had escaped her left eye.

Somehow, the meaning of his words seemed to hit Jake as well. His eyes softened a bit. Julie walked around the table and tried to walk past Jake. He quickly put up his hand however, softly touching her shoulder and stopping her in her tracks.

"I'm sorry Julie, I don't know why I said that. I think I'm drunk," he said, grabbing her shoulder to stop himself from falling over.

"Let me GO Jake, I don't want to deal with you right now!" Julie angrily yelled, more tears were running down her cheeks now. She tried to pull free from his grip, but the more she struggled, the tighter it became.

"Please don't leave. Please don't break up with me Julie, I'm sorry okay? I don't know what I'm saying. I can't think straight," he rambled, looking at her with sadness reflected in his eyes.  
"Just sit down on the couch. We'll talk about it. We can get through it, together." His hand pushed her backwards, in the direction of the couch. When she didn't move along immediately however, the soft push was replaced by a shove.

She stumbled back two steps before she felt her legs hit something behind her. She lost her balance and fell backwards. She had no clue what had been behind her exactly, but she and the object both came down with a loud thump. A fraction of a second later, the back of her head hit the ground hard. The pain overtook the rest of her thoughts.

She grabbed her head with her left hand, while pushing herself back to her feet with her right. Jake was staring at her with round eyes, his hands put up like he was unguilty.

"Fuck you," she loudly said before she ran around him in the direction of his front door.

"Julie, don't go-" She heard him yell, but she ran into the hallway and smashed the door closed. She had no clue what else he said, since the closed door had muffled his voice, but at this point she didn't really care anymore. She ran to the exit of the building, a few sobs escaping her mouth. From there, she ran all the way back to the safe space of their own apartment.

\----------------------------

When Julie walked through her own front door twenty minutes later, three pairs of eyes stared at her from the couch. She had promised herself not to cry in front of the guys, but couldn't stop a few tears from falling from her eyes.

"Hey, Jules, everything okay?" Alex asked quietly.

"Does it look like everything is okay?" She snapped, throwing down her bag in a corner of the living room.

"Oh, Julie is back? Wait.." Flynn's voice sounded from the bathroom. Only a second later, she walked back into the living room as well.

"Hey, Jules. I think we seriously need to talk about you and Jake-" Flynn started, but she was cut off by Julie.

"We don't need to talk about anything."

"Julie, what's the matter?" Luke asked, worry reflected in his eyes.

"Nothing. Just leave me alone!" Her voice grew louder.   
"Can you all just like, leave please? I need some time for myself," she added more calmly. She wiped away the tears from her cheeks, but the flow of liquid out of her eyes seemed to be endless.

"But we just-" Flynn said.

"Just GO. GO AWAY!" Julie yelled, a sob escaping her mouth. She stormed into her bedroom, slamming the door behind her. She let herself fall on her bed, her face buried in her pillow.

The sound of the frontdoor closing suggested that the rest of them had left the apartment. Julie stopped trying to hold back the tears and let them all come out, her pillow was soaking wet within a few seconds. She kept crying like this until she eventually drifted of, falling into a restless sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter. Some drama, just for you!  
> Can you all send some virtual hugs to Julie?
> 
> Anyways! Thanks for all the reads :) Don't be shy, say hi! (That rhymes!)  
> Also, this story passed the 100 subscriptions! Thank you so much!   
> Let me know what you think of this chapter, I love reading your comments :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Mention of vomiting/throwing up.

“Julie.. Julie… Hey, wake up…” A soft voice she would recognize anywhere pulled her out of her restless dreams. She had been having the same dream over and over again.

It was a weird one, really. She and Jake would stand on the roof of a skyscraper. They were talking about their relationship, but every time Jake took a step closer, she took one back. That kept happening until she finally stepped backwards of the edge of the building, fell down and hit her head. Just a moment later, they were back on the rooftop again having the same conversation and it always had the same end.

Even though the dream wasn’t real, Julie could feel the realistic throbbing pain in her head when she slowly opened her eyes. Her eyes couldn’t completely focus yet, but she recognized the contour of Flynn sitting on her bed.

“Hey, you’re awake, that’s good,” Flynn quietly said. Julie felt a comforting hand rubbing her back. It had been dark when she fell asleep, but apparently the sun had risen once again.

As soon as she lifted her head just the tiniest bit, the throbbing increased and she felt a wave of nausea hit her stomach.

“Flynn, I don’t feel so good-“ Julie cut herself off by putting her hand in front of her mouth. It took her a lot of effort not to throw up right there and now.   
Flynn took the hint and ran out immediately, hurrying back into the room with a bucket only a second later.

As soon as the bucket hit the ground, Julie removed her hand and let her body take over from there. The smell of vomit hit her nose, which made her throw up only more. She felt like her whole insides were released to the outside world. Flynn quickly walked over to hold Julie’s hair back, making sure that the vomit would not end up in her beautiful dark brown curls.

When Julie felt like she had completely emptied herself, she pushed herself a bit more back in her bed again. The door of her bedroom slowly opened, the creaking noise causing Julie and Flynn to look in that direction. Alex appeared in the doorway.

“Hey, everything okay in here?” he asked, his eyebrows lower into a frown.

“No, Julie just threw up,” Flynn stated. She took her phone out of her pocket and quickly looked at the time, causing her eyes to grow big.  
“Oh shoot! I’ve got an exam in 20 minutes! Alex, I’m sorry to leave you like this, but can you please help Julie?” She asked while she grabbed her jacket from the desk chair and put her arms through the sleeves.

“Yeah, no worries,” Alex nodded before walking into the bedroom more properly.

“I’m sorry Jules, I hope you feel better soon. Love you!” Flynn said before she stormed out of the room. Julie yelled a ‘good luck with your exam’, but she had no idea if Flynn was still able to hear her. The effort it took her to yell the words made her feel a bit worse again, so she put the back of her head back in the pillow in the hope that that would make the horrible feeling go away.

“Let’s start with cleaning this up,” Alex said while he grabbed the bucket that was filled with the slimy liquid. He was about to walk out of the room with it when Julie stopped him in his tracks.

“Alex, can you grab me a glass of water please?” Julie asked, her voice croaking. He nodded before walking out of the room.

A few minutes later he came back with both a glass of water and a clean bucket, which smelled like detergent. He dropped the bucket next to her bed loudly, before softly putting the glass of water on her nightstand. He grabbed the desk chair, putting it next to her bed before lowering himself into it.

“You feeling a bit better now?” he quietly asked. Julie just shook her head no, making sure not to move it too much.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it Jules, but I think we should talk about what happened yesterday,” he paused for a moment, “We were all kind of worried about you.”

“I just had a fight with Jake. Nothing to worry about. That’s what happens in relationships,” Julie mumbled.

“It didn’t seem like it was a small fight, Julie. You looked completely destroyed. I’ve never seen you this upset.”

“We had a fight about you guys actually. He.. he doesn’t like it when I like- hang out with other guys,” Julie quietly admitted.   
“He’s okay with you by the way, since you’re gay. But he doesn’t like the fact that I’m hanging out with Luke and Reggie as well.”

“What do you mean, he doesn’t like it when you hang out with other guys?” Alex asked, leaning a bit back in his chair. His eyebrows shot up.

“I think he doesn’t trust me. Reggie send me a text and Jake just asked me if I was fucking him on the side.” Julie pushed herself a bit back up again to grab the glass of water. Even though she took only a small sip, everything that entered her body felt wrong at the moment. Alex grabbed the glass from her hands and put it down, so she could focus on lying back down in the bed.

“That’s.. that’s not okay, Julie,” Alex said. He put his right elbow on his knee and rested his forehead in his hand.  
“It this why you’re throwing up as well? Is it caused by stress? Because that’s not healthy and we-“ Alex started rambling on but he was cut off by Julie.

“No, no. I hit my head. It hurts like a lot. That’s what is making me feel sick I think,” Julie said, her voice getting more tense again. She felt her stomach make her another turn. She quickly hung over the bucket, throwing up the little bit of water she had ingested and furthermore mostly stomach acid. She felt Alex’ hands hold her hair back. Even when she was completely empty, her stomach cramped up a few more times before it finally came to rest again. With the support of Alex his arms, she let herself lower down into her bed again.

“You think you’re throwing up like this because you hit your head?” Alex asked, worry reflected in both his eyes and voice. Julie nodded.

“In that case, we’re going to see a doctor. I don’t think that’s healthy,” he immediately said, getting up from his chair.   
“Uhm my car is in the garage.. I’ll ask Luke to drive us. I think he has no classes this morning either,” he started rambling. He quickly walked out of the bedroom and came back with his jacket, shoes and phone. He started typing something on his phone, but before he pressed the call button he looked at Julie again.

“Hey, Jules?” He asked.

Julie nodded, signalling for him to keep talking.

“How did you hit your head? Because if that man touched you, I swear-“ The anger in his voice was hard to miss. Julie interrupted him, however.

“No, no. I just stumbled and fell. Don’t worry,” Julie quickly lied. She was already bothering the guys by letting them take her to the doctors. She was enough of a burden to them already. Jake wasn’t their problem too, was he now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> I'm sorry it took me a while. I'm so busy with my own course work as well. However, just a bit of a shorter chapter for you. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Btw, I have a big weak spot for Alex and Owen Joyner. I know this is a Luke fanfic so I'll keep my focus on him, but can we just appreciate that man please??
> 
> Also, 120 subscriptions?! Hi everyone! You have no clue how much it means to me. Don't me shy, say hi!


	9. Chapter 9

“Here, put this on,” Luke said while he put his jacket around Julie’s shoulder. She was sitting up right on the edge of her bed, contemplating whether she liked the idea of going outside at all. She silently put her arms through the sleeves, enjoying the warmth the jacket immediately gave her.  
“Are you good to walk to the car?” He gave her a small, but worried smile before he grabbed his car keys from her night stand.

“Yeah, I guess so. I might throw up halfway there though,” Julie chuckled quietly, making sure not to burden her throat too much. She had thrown up one more time before Luke had arrived. She took another small sip of the water that stood on her nightstand. The throbbing in her head was killing her already, but she was aware of the importance of seeing a doctor for it right now.

“We’ll just let Alex carry a bucket just in case,” Luke smiled at her before her continued, “Give him something fun to do on our way there.”

“Hey, I heard that!” Alex commented while he walked into her bedroom, carrying in fact the blue bucket that she had thrown up in multiple times.  
“Anyways, are you guys ready to go? I called, we have an appointment in 30 minutes. Since it will probably take us a while to get to the car, we’d better get going right now.”

Julie nodded and pushed herself slowly off the bed. Her head was killing her and the nausea immediately hit her stomach again. However, she decided to brush it off for the moment and try to get to the car. There, she would be able to lie down again for a moment.

It took them about 15 minutes to get down to the car. Julie was slowly shuffling through the hallways, Luke’s hand on her lower back to support her and push her in the right direction. Alex was walking a bit ahead of them, stopping from time to time to ask if Julie felt like throwing up. She only used up his offer of the bucket once, right before they went outside. Alex just threw her vomit in the bush and quickly cleaned the bucket with the watertap that was attached to the outside of the building.

The car ride was silent. Luke drove towards the GP center, concentrating on the road. Julie laid down on two of the three seats in the backrow, trying to push the horrible feeling away. Alex used the third seat of them, continuously asking if she felt okay and if she needed the bucket to throw up in. He asked it three more times before the car finally came to a stop.

Julie carefully pushed herself up from her lying position on the backseat. Luke turned around in the front seat, his eyes absorbing the situation in the backrow before he spoke.

“There’s no parking space left. I think it’s best if I wait outside and stay with the car,” he said, waving his left arm around, probably pointing at all the taken spots.

Julie nodded, closing her eyes for a moment again in the hope of pushing the nausea away. She felt a strong hand push her softly up from the seat.

“Come on Julie, let’s go,” Alex whispered while he cautiously helped her up.

They carefully got out of the car, and as soon as they both agreed that Julie was not going throw up right there and then, they slowly made their way to the GP building. Alex pushed the heavy door open, guiding Julie inside with his other arm while he held the door steady in its opened position.

After five minutes of waiting, which felt like an eternity, the doctor called Julie in. She quickly pushed herself to her feet. Apparently, she made the movement too quick, since a wave of dizziness hit her immediately. She felt Alex’ strong hand secure the upright position she was in.

“Do you want to go in alone, or should I come with you?” He quietly asked, doubt reflected in his eyes.

“No, can you come along please? I don’t feel good,” Julie mumbled, still not completely recovered from the light feeling in her head. Alex quickly nodded before he got out of his chair as well.

Julie had been inside the doctor’s office for about ten minutes before they gave her a diagnosis.

“So a concussion, what does that mean exactly?” Julie quietly asked, looking curiously around the light room while she progressed the information she just got.

“It’s nothing too bad, just a light bruising of the brain. I’ll give you a box of Domperidone. It should stop the nausea and vomiting,” the doctor explained while he handed her a small, paper box.   
“You can take one now, you’ll probably feel better in a few minutes. Also, no parties or social activities the next few days. You are on bedrest for at least two days,” he added before handing her a glass of water as well.

Julie thanked him quietly before putting one of the pills in her mouth, swallowing it with the water the doctor had given her. After she flushed the little white object away, she handed the box of pills to Alex, who was sitting on the chair next to her bed. He immediately accepted it, putting it in the pocket of his jacket.

She was just about to ask the doctor if they could leave now, when she saw a flicker of doubt in his movements. The doctor took a deep breath before he relaxed his shoulders.

“Miss Molina, may I ask. Is this guy, Alex right? Is he your boyfriend?” He nodded his head in Alex’ direction, who sat just a little bit more upright at the mention of his name.

“No, he is my roommate. Why?” Julie asked, tilting her head a bit to the side.

“I would like to ask you a few personal questions. Do you want him to go, or can he stay?” The doctor questioned. He grabbed another block note from his desk.

“No, it’s okay. He can stay. Alex is okay,” Julie said quietly, confusion clearly showing in her voice. Where was he going with this conversation? Alex smiley slightly in her direction, obviously appreciating her kind words.

“Alright. Okay.. When I was doing some tests on you just now, I noticed something. Can you please show me collarbone and shoulder?” He asked carefully, taking a few steps in her direction. He put his glasses on the tip of nose, looking over them to probably see it all a bit better.

Julie nodded, feeling confused, before putting her sweater down a bit.

“Wow Julie, where did you get that?” Alex asked, his eyes growing big when he looked at her shoulder.

Julie tried to look at her shoulder, but failed. Seeing the skin on your own shoulder was harder than she thought.

“What? Where did I get what?” She asked, feeling left out as the other two were staring at her. The doctor grabbed a mirror from his desk, showing the exposed skin to her eyes as well.

She felt her heart sink when she saw the dark blue bruise. The little bit of colour she still had in her face faded within a second. She knew exactly where she got the bruise from.

It was the spot on her shoulder where Jake had grabbed and pushed her.

She made sure her eyes didn’t meet Alex’. She looked around the room, finally focussing on the dark green garbage can. She felt tears well up at the back of her throat, but she swallowed them back down.

She didn’t want to feel like this. She didn’t want to feel vulnerable. She didn’t want to feel weak.

She had no clue how long they had been sitting like that, before the doctor continued his interrogation.

“Okay, Miss Molina. Now, can you please show me your right wrist please?” He calmly asked. He adjusted his glasses again, which tended to slide down too far down his nose.

She hesitated for a moment. She knew there was no way back now. They had seen her shoulder. Alex would ask questions. He wouldn’t stop until he would get an answer.

Julie stopped avoiding eye contact and looked straight into Alex’ eyes for a moment. His eyebrows had lowered down in a frown. When she took longer than expected to show her wrist, the remains of what was once a smile completely faltered.

“Show us your wrist, Julie,” Alex voice sounded tense and restrained at the same time. Julie slowly nodded at him before pulling up her sleeve.

She even shocked herself when she noticed the dark blue and purple bruising on her underarm, clearly showing the grip that Jake had had on her limb. The contour of fingers was hard to miss on her dark skin.

“Julie..” Alex whispered. The sadness in his eyes hurt her more than anything Jake had ever done.

“Miss Molina. I’m going to ask you this one time, and I want you to be honest with me,” the doctor said firmly, looking her straight into the eyes.  
“Are you a victim of domestic abuse?”

The words hit her like a train. She decided to speak up immediately, since she didn’t want to raise any suspicions.

“No, no. Not really.. It was just a one time thing,” she paused for a moment, looking at her own wrist. “It wasn’t his fault-“

“Who’s fault?” Alex interrupted her midsentence. The anger in his voice was hard to miss.

“Jake,” Julie quietly mumbled before she continued, “But he was drunk. It’s okay, he couldn’t help it. He only grabbed my wrist to take my phone from me. And later he pushed me back to the couch, he didn’t mean for me to fall over and hit my head.”

“Jake did this to you?” Alex asked, his eyes full of disbelief. He held his hand in front of his mouth. Julie just nodded shyly in response.

“I recommend you file a report against the guy, Miss Molina. I have noted it as well. If you need any help, you know where to find me,” the doctor concluded before putting his block note on the desk once again.

Julie slowly pushed herself out of the bed. The nausea was still there, but it had faded substantially compared to when she came in.

“Thank you doctor, I will,” she said before she gestured for Alex to get up as well.

She shook the doctor’s hand once again before leaving the well-lit room for good. Alex quietly followed her, not saying a word until they were almost at the exit of the building.

“Hey, Jules?” He quietly asked. She stopped walking and turned around in her spot. She felt tired and defeated. She actually didn’t feel like any social interaction at all anymore. It seemed like an amazing plan to just crawl into her bed when she came home, and not come out for a few days. One of the perks of a concussion was that she would actually get to do that.

When she looked at Alex, she noticed that he was nervously biting down on his thumb nail. His other hand was fumbling around with the small box of medicine.

“Yes, Alex?” She calmly asked.

“I’m sorry..” He admitted quietly. His words caught her off guard.

“Sorry for what?” She asked, feeling confused.

“I’m sorry for not noticing. I’m sorry for being a bad friend. I’m-“ He cut himself off by walking forward, wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug. Julie took a step back in surprise, before wrapping her arms around the guy as well. She inhaled the scent of his amazing aftershave. She felt him bury his face her good shoulder.

“I’m sorry, okay. I will make it up to you, I promise,” he mumbled into her sweater.

Julie didn’t know why exactly, but she felt a tear escape her eye. Maybe it was because of the concussion. Maybe it was because of the incredibly lovely guy that was holding her right there and then. She quickly wiped away the tear.

Alex pulled a bit back however, looking her into the eyes.

“It’s okay to cry, you know. You’re going through a lot of shit,” Alex said quietly, rubbing her back in a comforting way. Julie nodded at him, before allowing her tears to leave her eyes. The more she let her emotions take over, the more she felt the tension she had because of Jake leave her body. She let out a quiet sob.

Alex pulled her back into a hug, this time letting her bury his face in his chest. Her eyes quickly soaked the light pink fabric, making it a darker pink in the process.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Alex quietly mumbled, stroking Julie’s hair, “This is a safe space. It’s okay.”

Julie had no idea how long they stood like that, or how long she had been crying. But they eventually left the building to go home, only after she had no more tears left to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter.   
> Can we give poor Alex and Julie a hug please? :( 
> 
> Also, thanks for reading!  
> We have 14 more subscriptions since the last time I updated. Holycanoly! Don't be shy, introduce yourself! Say hi :) 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Nothing feels better up than seeing all your comments :)


	10. Chapter 10

The ride back was quiet. Luke had asked how it went, so Julie told him she had a concussion and that she was on bedrest for two days. Her headache had gotten worse again after all the crying, so she preferred not to say too many words right now.

She put her head against the window, staring at the trees that were passing the car as they drove through the city. Alex was sitting next to Luke in the front, he was more quiet than usual as well.

"You doing okay there, Alex?" Luke asked Alex as they turned around another corner. Julie closed her eyes, tiredness taking over her mind. She didn't fall asleep, but she couldn't stay completely awake either.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.. Just thinking," Alex responded vaguely.

"Are you thinking about Willie?" Luke his voice had a curious undertone.

"Yeah.. no.. yeah that too. It's just been a long day, I guess," Alex yawned. Julie opened her eyes again as soon as she heard the words leave Alex' mouth.

She knew he probably didn't want to drop the whole Jake thing like a bomb there and then, but Julie felt a pinch of guilt as she heard Alex avoid the topic.

"Okay, that's okay.. Just.." Luke paused for a moment, changing lanes midsentence.   
"Just know that if there is something on your mind, you know where to find us, right? And we'll try to find Willie, we're not giving up on him," he said while turning around another corner, his head clearly not fully in the conversation. They drove into the street of their apartment, so it would just be a few more minutes before they would be home. She saw Alex nod, before he stared out of the window absentmindedly again.

Julie sat a bit more upright, as she hated falling asleep right before she would reach her destination. The cold air in the car gave her a wave of goosebumps. She put her hands in the pockets of Luke's jacket that she was still wearing, in an attempt to get her body heat a bit more up again.

The left pocket was completely empty, except for some cookie crumbs. In the right pocket however, he hand automatically wrapped around a piece of paper. She cautiously pulled it out of the pocket and unfolded the yellowish coloured paper.

The were a lot of handwritten words on both sides of the paper. Were these lyrics?

_Unsaid Emily – 1995_

Questions raised in her mind. Why would Luke carry around a piece of paper that was dated back all the way to 1995? She had just managed to read the first few words, when the car stopped in its tracks.

"We're home!" Luke happily exclaimed, as he turned around in his seat.  
"Hey what have you got there, Jules?"

Julie barely had time to react before the piece of paper was ripped out of her hands.

"I'm sorry, but that's mine," Luke firmly stated before he folded the paper again and put it in his back pocket. As soon Julie looked up into Luke's hardened eyes, she saw them soften up a bit.  
"Sorry, Jules. I didn't mean to snap. It's just.. very personal and valuable to me, okay?"

Julie nodded slightly, but Luke probably didn't even notice since he was halfway out of the car already. Julie quickly unfastened her seatbelt and followed both boys into the fresh air.

The nausea had almost completely left her body, thank god. But her head felt heavy as she was standing up and the throbbing feeling hadn't left yet either.

The three of them quietly walked into the building and to the front door of the apartment. No words were exchanged until they finally walked into the living room again.

They were met by the scene of Reggie and Flynn sitting on the couch, both with a bass guitar on their laps.

"Yes, very good! And then you place your finger there to play a G," Reggie said enthusiastically. His voice was followed by the sound of apparently a G from the bass that Flynn was playing.

"What's up guys?" Luke asked, announcing their presence since the others didn't seem to notice them.

"Oh, hey! How did it go at the GP?" Flynn responded while she put down her bass on the couch. Julie couldn't help but notice the hint of disappointment on Reggie his face when their lesson appeared to be over.

"I have a concussion. They gave me a medicine for the nausea, but I still have a terrible headache," Julie paused for a moment, "I'm on bedrest for at least two days."  
Julie decided to suit her actions to her words and took a few steps in the direction of her bedroom. She was interrupted by Reggie his voice, however.

"Hey ehm, Jules.. You left your phone here while you were away and.. we-" Reggie stumbled over his words, his eyes looking anywhere but at Julie.

Julie had a feeling where this was going. She nervously looked over from Reggie to Alex. He met her eyes immediately, a small frown forming on his face.

"Your phone kept buzzing. You kept receiving messages, we didn't even mean to invade your privacy.. but the screen that kept lighting up caught our attention.." Flynn spoke, helping Reggie out when he struggled to find the right words.  
"Jules, the messages that Jake is sending you are not okay. We only read the notifications, we didn't open them yet. But I'm worried about you," she concluded, being very to the point all of a sudden.

Julie felt he heart sink at her words. Her eyes flickered from her best friend to the phone on the coffee table. She slowly strolled over, grabbing the device from the wooden tabletop.

_6 Unread_ _messages from Jake._

_Jake: Hey babe, I was at your apartment this morning. No one was there. Where were you?_

Julie quickly scanned the first text and was about to read the second, when her thoughts were interrupted by Reggie his voice.

"Do you mind reading them out to us?" He quietly asked. He and Flynn had both read the notifications, which meant that they knew something wasn't right. Only Luke was still completely in the dark about it.

Julie looked up at Alex, hoping to find support in her friend. His frown was still present, but he smiled comforting at her and nodded for her to share the content of the messages.

"What's going on?" Luke interrupted the silent communication between her and Alex.

"Just listen to Julie," Alex said quietly, before signalling to her to start reading.

"Okay," Julie sight before she looked at her phone again. She fought the shaking of her hands, trying to keep her phone still enough to read the messages.  
  


"09:51 am: _Hey babe, I was at your apartment this morning. No one was there. Where were you?_

09:57 am: _I know you didn't have any classes this morning. Why did you not tell me you had plans?_

10:14 am: _I can't believe you're ignoring me. You don't think we've broken up right?_

10:15 am: _I know you said maybe we needed a break, but right now you're still my girlfriend and I have a right to know where you are and who you hang out with._

10:57 am: _Listen, babe. I don't know exactly why you are picking up your phone, or why you are ignoring my texts. But I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry if I hurt you. I didn't mean to. Please, at least talk to me. I was drunk. I didn't mean to do that._

11:20 am: _Please, forgive me. I'll never touch you again like that, I promise. Please, answer your phone?_

That's it. That's the last text," Julie concluded. She looked at the little clock on her phone, only to see that it was 12:15 pm right now.

"What is this, Julie?" Luke asked, taking a step forward in Julie's direction.  
"He didn't mean to hurt you? Did he hurt you?" He paused for a moment, motioning to Julie's head, "Did he do this to you?" His voice grew louder as his movements became more expressive.

Julie took a step back as he took another one forward. She automatically put her hands defensively up in the air. It took only a fraction of a second for Luke to realize what he was doing. He took a step back again and his facial expression softened.

"Take a deep breath, Luke." Alex had walked up to him and put his right hand calmingly on Luke his shoulder. Luke nodded slightly before speaking up again.

"Did you know about this, Lex?" He asked.

"Yeah, the doctor saw her bruises. So she told us. I've only known since then, though," he paused for a moment, "I think we both wanted to tell you, but we didn't know how."

Julie felt her body grow tired as she had been standing for a long time now. Her head was growing more fuzzy every minute. It had never taken her so much effort to follow a conversation before. She put her hand on the backrest of the couch, looking for some support physical support.

"Is that why you both were so quiet on the ride back?" Luke quietly asked, looking from her to Alex and back again. They both nodded, not spilling more words then absolutely necessary.

"What exactly did he do to you? And was he drunk? Was this a one time thing, or have you been keeping this from us for a while?" Luke kept blurting out the words.

Julie felt a wave of dizziness hit her. The quick rambling of words made her head spin. She grabbed the couch a bit tighter, holding herself upright with her hand. She was about to answer Luke, when Flynn spoke up.

"Alright guys, I think we need to talk about this later. Julie is supposed to be on bedrest, so let's put her to bed." Flynn her hand landed on Julie's lower back, softly pushing her in the direction of the bedroom. Julie let Flynn direct her movements, as she felt too tired to speak up. She had no clue what the guys their reaction was to her leaving the conversation, but she didn't hear them protest so she assumed that they were okay with it.

As soon as she saw her bed, she crawled under the covers. The temptation of taking a good nap was huge. She let her head hit the pillow and immediately closed her eyes.

"Alright, sleep tight, Jules. We'll see you in a few hours," Flynn spoke softly.

Julie expected to immediately drift off, but the muffled loud voices in the living room kept her awake. She couldn't help but listen in, since she didn't have anything else to do.

"I'm going to beat the shit out of that guy," Luke spoke.

"Alright, let's all calm down a bit, right?" Reggie said, Julie couldn't but notice the tension in his voice as well.

"He is her BOYFRIEND, Reginald. You don't fucking hurt other people like that. Alcohol is not an excuse," Luke replied, emotions clearly growing high.

"I completely get what you're saying Luke, I would like Jake's face to meet my fists as well. But I'm not sure that's the best solution here," Flynn interrupted the boys.

Julie felt her mind drift off bit for bit after these words. Her head was growing fuzzy. She was in that weird state right between being awake and being asleep, where you can't move but you can in fact still vaguely hear the things around you. She had no clue how long had passed before another set of words woke her up a bit more again.

"I don't get it. This isn't the Julie we used to know. She was strong, fierce, independent. How can she let someone do this to her?" It was Alex.

Right after these words, she completely drifted off into a deep sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> I'm sorry it took me a while to update.  
> I've been quite busy with work and my own uni coursework. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Let me know what you think! 
> 
> Also, 161 subscriptions?! Damn that's a lot! Helloooo, nice to meet you all! :)


	11. Chapter 11

Julie woke up what only felt like a moment later by the sound of someone snoring. She carefully opened her eyes, adjusting herself to the bright light behind her eyelids.

As soon as her eyes were able to focus and she could see more than just blurred lines around her, she recognized a figure in a chair next to her bed.

She slightly pushed herself up from her lying position, trying to get a more clear view of who was in the room with her. It took her only a moment to recognize the brown, wavey hair and the typical hat. Luke was sitting, or half lying down actually, next to her bed, fast asleep with one of his uni books open on his chest.

"Luke?" She quietly whispered, her voice cracking slightly. She looked at him expectantly, only to get another snore in return. She quickly cleared her throat, before trying again.

"Luke!" She said, louder this time. He startled for a moment and quickly sat up when he seemed to realize that he had fallen asleep, causing his book to fall down to the ground with a loud thump.

"Wow, sorry, I must have fallen asleep," he sleepily mumbled, rubbing his eyes while yawning.

"You think?" Julie deadpanned, raising one eyebrow sceptically.  
"What are you doing in my room?"

"Huh? What?" He looked around warily, obviously not being completely awake just yet.   
"Oh your room.. Yeah, no, yeah I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. I wanted to be there when you needed me," he said, smiling slightly at her.

She returned the gesture, letting herself lower down a bit again. Her head felt a bit better than before she fell asleep, but it still felt more heavy and fuzzy than it normally did.

"Hey, Jules, listen," Luke paused for a moment while fumbling around with his hands, "I'm sorry I spoke to you that way, before you went to bed. I was getting defensive, but it wasn't fair to you. Sometimes I let my emotions get the better of me."

"It's okay really, I get where you're coming from. And I'm not the person to tell you what you can't do," she spoke, giving Luke a reassuring smile.

"That's not true, Julie, and I think you know that. If I do something that makes you uncomfortable, you'd better tell me," he stated.  
"The same goes for the Lex and Reg, and everyone else around you. Make sure you are heard, stand up for yourself." The words came quicker and quicker out of his mouth, before he suddenly stopped and looked thoughtfully at Julie.

"What?" She quietly asked, cocking her a bit to the side in curiosity.

"I don't want to cross any boundaries.." He mumbled, his gaze shifting over to his hands. He started nervously playing around with them.

"You're not," Julie stated firmly, curiosity building up in her mind. Her feeling in her gut was telling her where this conversation was going, but she still couldn't help being curious about what Luke was going to say.

"Is this what happened with you and Jake as well? Did you let him mentally push you around before it started getting physical?" He asked, looking right into her eyes again. The movements of his hands stopped.

Julie avoided his eyes as soon as he made eye contact. She stared at the wooden door, her mind quickly processing what he was asking.

Her and Jake's relationship hadn't always been this way, and she knew that. The good memories were still present, but the bad ones had been taking over recently. Jake had in fact always been jealous if she was hanging out with other guys, but since she barely had any guy friends, that hadn't really been an issue before. Whenever she was hanging around with him, he would make sure that she was doing okay. But if she thought about it, he had always been the dominant one in the relationship. He was the person who had the final say in everything. She would share her opinion, yes. But the further they got into their relationship, the more her opinion was ignored or pushed away.

The process of her opinion getting less and less important wasn't one that happened from one day to the next. It had sneakily made its way into her life. She hadn't really taken the time before to think about it properly, but now that she did, she realized what had happened over the past year.

She averted her eyes back from the door to Luke, who was looking at her with both curiosity and worry reflected in his eyes. She slightly nodded before answering his question.

"I think so, yeah.." She mumbled.  
"I don't want you to think of him too badly though. He's not a bad guy. He has been a solid rock of comfort for me for the past year. And we also have a lot of fun memories. It's just.." Julie paused for a moment, "Right before Alex moved in, I started feeling a bit distant in our relationship. Nothing bad, but it was just the butterflies fading away a bit, you know. And then he grew different when I started hanging out with you guys. He was always the jealous type when I would hang around with other guys, but now he started accusing me of things that weren't substantiated at all."

They were disturbed by the sound of someone knocking on the door. They both yelled a 'come in', before the door opened, revealing a tired looking Alex with two steaming hot mugs in his hands.

"Hey, I heard voices coming from your room. I thought maybe you would like some tea?" He asked. He probably assumed they were going to say yes, since he started walking in their direction immediately.

"That's kind of you Alex, thank you," Julie said while she said up a bit and accepted the large mug with the hot liquid. She heard Luke mumble a 'thank you' as well, before Alex slipped out of the room again.

"Do you want to tell me what exactly he said and did to you?" He asked, blowing at his hot tea in an attempt to cool it down a bit. Julie copied his movements, before putting the mug down on her nightstand and getting ready to continue.

"Yeah, you were teaching me how to play the guitar, right? So he called and asked me to come over and hang out. His voice sounded tense, and since our relationship had been a bit on the rocks lately, I decided to just go with it. When I arrived however, I immediately noticed the smell of alcohol on his breath. He kept pouring himself glasses of whiskey. He wanted to talk about how things were going between the two of us, but then Flynn texted me to see if I was okay.." She blew once again at her tea, before taking a tiny sip and burning her tongue in the process.

"He didn't believe me when I said it was Flynn, so he wanted to check my phone. That's when he did this." She stared at the bruise on her wrist, before holding it up in the air and showing the bruises to Luke. His eyes widened when he noticed the discoloured spots on her skin.

"What the hell-" He mumbled, before he was cut off by Julie's voice.

"That's not all. He grabbed my wrist and looked at the text of Flynn. He seemed to believe me and let go, but just then Reggie texted me to check up on me. He basically called me a whore, by asking if I was fucking him on the side." Luke opened his mouth to interrupt her, but Julie didn't give him the chance.  
"He was obviously drunk. I stood up for myself and told him that maybe we should take a break, but then he told me that I would have no one left. He just casually mentioned that my whole family had died so far and that Flynn was leaving me as well because she had moved out. It was a bit too much you know, so I was- I wanted- I tried-" She felt tears well up behind her eyes while stumbling over her words.

"Hey, hey.. take a deep breath. Take a sip of your tea," Luke spoke calmly, trying to comfort her without physically touching her.

"I just burned my tongue on that stupid tea," Julie chuckled through her tears, while picking the mug up again and blowing at it again. She threw another few curse words at the tea and mumbled about how it was trying to hurt her, when she noticed a smile breaking through Luke's frown.

"You're crazy, you know that?" He chuckled, before taking a sip of his tea himself.

"You love me for it," Julie deadpanned back. Luke's smile faltered a bit, but he quickly recovered and gave her a lazy wink.

"Anyways.. I tried to leave his apartment but he grabbed my shoulder. That's where these came from," she said before revealing the bruises on her shoulder as well. Luke his frown had returned, but he didn't look as shocked as he did when he saw the bruises on her wrists. She quickly continued talking.  
"He grabbed me and wanted me to sit down on the couch and 'talk'. He couldn't think clearly and he started apologizing like crazy, begging me not to leave and not break up with him. I wanted to leave anyways, but he pushed me back to the couch. I'm sure he didn't mean to, but I stumbled backwards over a chair, and that's when my head hit the ground. He just stood there, staring at me, horrified. So I ran around him, and that's when I came back home to you. And now we're here," she concluded. She took another sip of the tea, which was finally cooled down enough to actually enjoy it.

"Thank you, Jules," Luke spoke calmly.

"For what?" She asked, confusion flowing through her tired mind.

"For opening up to me. I need some time to process what you just told me. It's quite a lot to take in," he paused for a moment, "I want to ask you something though."

"Shoot," Julie slightly smiled at him.

"From what you told me, it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all. But what do you want to do in the future? Go back and repair your relationship, or do you want to break up with him and move on?" He asked, his voice sounding kind. There seemed to be no judgement linked to either option.

"I think.. I think it's time to let go. Or at least take a good break for a while, you know?" Julie said, staring at the brown liquid in her mug.

"Yeah.. From my perspective, I think that would be the best thing to do right now as well," Luke agreed.

"I just don't know how. I don't know how he will react. I don't want to hurt his feelings. And he's still in the same classes as me," she rambled through all the things that occurred when you broke up with your classmate.

"Don't worry about that right now, alright? I think it's time to take some rest again. Let me and the guys figure out how to legally let him change classes, without causing too much fuss. We'll talk to your professor as well. And then the whole breaking up for real thing will come when you feel a bit better," Luke said, sounding very confident in his plan.

Julie nodded at him. Just as he mentioned it, she felt tiredness take over her mind again. She mumbled a quiet thank you, before she put her now empty mug on her nightstand again. She let her head softly fall into her pillow and felt her mind drifting off in another deep sleep, not waking up again until the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \------------------------------
> 
> Hey guys!!
> 
> I'm so sorry for not updating any sooner. I've been incredibly busy. Uni work, just work work, meetings, deadlines, everything! So I'm sorry it took me a week to update :( Next week is going to be crazy busy as well, so it might take me another while before I upload chapter 12. I have the idea in my head, I just need the time to write it out.
> 
> Anyways, thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think :)


	12. Chapter 12

Julie stared at the screen of her phone. She had slept the night away, finally taking some good and proper rest. She woke up the next morning around 9 am. She didn’t completely feel like her old self just yet, but her head felt way less fuzzy and heavy than the day before.

It was just a few seconds after she had woken up she realized that she should call Jake. No matter how big of an asshole he had been to her the last time she spoke to him, they had been in a serious relationship. Just asking the guys to take care of it and make him change classes was not the right way to solve this problem.

Her fingers automatically moved over the screen, her muscle memory facilitating her with the number that she had called so many times before. Her thumb hovered over the little ‘call’ button. Was this the right way to do it?

She knew about herself that she hated break ups through texts or over a phone call. However, she wasn’t allowed to leave her bed for another day and the last time she saw him in real life, it did not end well.

She felt one more flicker of doubt before she forced herself to move her thumb down. The display of her phone changed immediately, signalling that it was connecting to Jake’s device. She just stared at it until she heard a quiet ‘hello..?’ on the other side.

Julie quickly put the phone to her ear.

“Hello, Julie?” It was the sound of Jake’s familiar voice on the other side of the line.

It was at that moment that she realized she had no clue what exactly she was going to say. She felt the blood rising to her cheeks, looking for the right words in her head.

“Uhm- Hey Jake,” she awkwardly mumbled.

“What’s up? Why are you calling me this early in the morning?” The crack in his voice suggested that he had not been awake that long himself either.

“I think we need to talk about what happened.” Julie stated, sounding more self-assured than she actually felt.

“Yeah, about you have been ignoring me for like a day?” The judgement in his voice was evident. Julie couldn’t help but feel a pinch of guilt for not talking to him sooner.

“Jake, I have a concussion. I’ve been in bed all day, okay?” She felt a flicker of doubt before she added a few more words, “It happened when you pushed me.”

“Oh shit.. I’m sorry babe. I never meant for that to happen. I just.. I couldn’t let you go, you know? I was afraid you would break up with me..” His voice had a hint of the softness that she had fallen for in the beginning.  
“Has Flynn been taking care of you? You need to take it real easy, a concussion is heavy shit,” he added, concern reflected in his voice.

“Yeah Flynn, but also Luke, Reggie and Alex. They’ve been taking care of me quite well.” Julie knew that Jake wouldn’t like her mentioning the boys. But she also knew it was necessary. The three of them had been nothing but respectful towards her and also her relationship with Jake. She owed it to them to stand up for herself to Jake and defend their friendship.

“They’ve been taking care of you too? Don’t they have like uni classes to attend to or just their own life?” The hint of softness that Julie had noticed just a moment before, had now completely vanished again.

“Yeah, they just to tend to spend time here between their classes because this is the biggest dorm. They made sure I was okay, you know. Let me stay in bed, get me tea and everything. It’s just them and Flynn being kind,” Julie slowly explained, but she mentally prepared herself for what was about to come.

“Okay.”

It was just that one word. It reflected no emotion at all.

“You’re okay with that?” Julie paused for a moment, not sure how to react to him. “Or what do you mean?”

“Okay as in okay. I told you so many times that I don’t like you hanging around with other guys. And yet there you are, vulnerable and in bed, letting yourself getting pampered by three guys at the same time for god’s sake.”

“Jake-“ Julie tried, but her interrupted her immediately again.

“No. No ‘Jake’. I can pick you up in about thirty minutes, you can stay at my place for the time being. And then when you feel better we’ll talk about how things will go from now.” The words quickly rambled out his mouth.

“Actually that’s what I wanted to talk to you about..” Julie quietly added, shutting up Jake immediately with her words. When he didn’t say anything, she calmly continued.

“I think it’s better if we both keep our distance for a while. It’s just- You hurt me Jake. When I think about going to your place, I feel stress creeping up in me immediately. It doesn’t feel good-“

“I told you I’m sorry about that. It was just a one time thing. And I was drunk, so you can’t keep blaming me for that,” Jake interrupted her.

“It’s not just a one time thing though Jake. The physical hurt maybe yeah. But I’ve also kind of feeling on edge lately because of the whole ‘not hanging out with guys rule’. In a relationship it’s for me about mutual respect and equality, but I don’t feel like that’s been present lately.” She stated, pausing for a moment. Jake took the break in her speech to speak up however.

“Come on babe, you know that’s not fair. A lot of guys don’t want their girlfriends to have guy friends. It’s a very normal thing. I’ve been nothing but respectful to you besides accidentally pushing you over which gave you this so called ‘concussion’.”

“Do you want me to show you the bruises you gave me? There’s nothing respectful about that,” Julie couldn’t help but spat the words at her boyfriend.

“I told you I’m sorry about that. But you’re not listening to me! You need me and you know it. We love each other. And I mean what I said before. If you want to keep your distance from me, than you’ll be just be isolating yourself and you’ll have no one left. No family. No friends. Because that’s what happens to you. People either die or you push them away when they come too close,” Jake spoke, his words were chosen carefully but hurtful.

Julie felt tears well up behind her eyes, but she pushed them back forcefully. She tried her hardest to turn her sadness into anger. She was done letting herself get pushed around like this. She was done being the puppet in his vision of a perfect future. Her voice automatically grew louder when she spoke up again.

“Go fuck yourself, Jake. You’re not the same guy anymore that I started dating a year ago. I thought we needed a break, but maybe it’s better to break up for good.” Her voice echoed through her bedroom. Just a moment later, she saw her bedroom door open. Alex’ curious expression appeared in the doorframe, and he calmly walked in a bit further when she nodded at him, giving him permission accompany her.

“You can’t just break up with me like that. We’ve been through so much together. How can you just ditch me like that?” The crack in his voice suggested that maybe his senses and emotions were finally catching up with him.

“We’ve been through a lot together, but we’ve also been through enough together for now. I’m just done, okay?” Julie asked, her voice still louder than she intended it to be.

Her concussion was catching up on her again. Even though she felt slightly better, the intense conversation had taken a lot of her energy. Several spots appeared in her vision and she felt a small wave of dizziness hit her. She blinked a few times, her eyes shifting over to Alex’ contour. She tried to focus on him, but realized that it took her a lot more effort than she expected.

“Julie, don’t do this. Just let me come over and we’ll talk about it,” Jake spoke. She couldn’t find the right words anymore to respond.

It took Alex only a moment to stroll over to her bed and kindly taken the phone out of her right hand.

“Alright Jake, I think that’s it for today. The message is clear. Julie broke up with you. Now go on with your life and do whatever it is you do on a Thursday,” Alex spoke, articulating his words perfectly. He immediately pressed the red button after he had said what he wanted to say.

Julie had lowered herself down in the bed a bit more again, giving her head the rest that it needed. She gladly accepted the phone when Alex handed it back to her, and put it on her nightstand next to her bed.

“Thanks for that, Alex,” she said, giving him a small smile.

“I’m proud of you for doing this.” He smiled sympathetically back at her, before sitting down on the edge of her bed.  
“Now that we’ve handled that, what do you want for breakfast? Pancakes?” He added, his slight smile changing into a grin.

“Oh, yes please!” Julie responded, happily clapping in her hands. She felt like shit, but the prospect of pancakes in her near future made her feel a bit better.

Alex pushed himself of the bed again, turning his body to her before saluting her symbolically.

“Alex at your service.” He stated before he turned around and walked in the direction of the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm so glad Julie stood up for herself! What about you?  
> I'm sorry I didn't update any sooner. I've been so busy. I will try to update again later this week, but it might take me a while again. I'm sorry in advance!  
> Anyways, thank you so much for reading this story! Let me know what you think in the comments!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a hint: Listen to Ghost Of You by 5 Seconds of Summer or Falling by Harry Styles while reading this chapter. I had them on repeat while writing it.

“So, besides the whole Jake situation, how are you doing?” Alex asked before taking a bite of his freshly baked pancake. The maple syrup slowly started dripping from the side, softly landing on the plate he was holding on his lap.

Alex had taken about thirty minutes to get them a stack pancakes, which smelt the best she had ever encountered. Julie had drifted off into a short nap while he had been busy in the kitchen. Even though it hadn’t been a proper rest, it did make feel her slightly better.

She had been woken up again by the sound of Alex barging into her room with the pancakes. He immediately apologised as soon as he realized she had been sleeping. She had waved it off with a grin before gladly accepting the plate of pancakes.

Julie quickly chewed the food in her mouth, making sure she swallowed everything properly before answering Alex.

“Yeah, I’m doing quite okay. I’m behind on uni work as always, but that’s not that weird, seen the situation I’m in right now. Besides that, yeah, no. I’m doing okay,” Julie spoke, before taking another bite of the delicious pancake.

“I think that’s the point of being in uni right? Is anyone ever on schedule?” Alex chuckled in between two bites.

“Haha I used to be last year actually, I think I was the most perfectionistic student of our class.” Julie took a sip of water, letting the food sink down for a moment before starting on her second pancake.

“Damn girl. Take it easy, live a little,” Alex joked. He paused for a moment, before continuing.  
“But on a serious note though. You’re behind on schedule, but are there some serious deadlines? Like, if you won’t get something finished soon, you might get kicked out of class?”

“No, I think for now it’s just homework and of course exams. But I nailed the criteria to pass the first year, so I’ve got a bit of room there,” she answered.

“Okay, okay, that’s good,” Alex agreed. They both took another bite of their pancake, creating a comfortable silence.

“We talk a lot about me, but how are you doing?” Julie asked curiously, breaking the silence after about a minute. Alex met her eyes for a brief second, before shifting them back to his food.

“Yeah, I’m hanging in there,” he quietly answered, the usual confidence lacking from his voice.

“That doesn’t sound very convincing,” Julie answered, pausing for a moment before continuing, “You wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t know, it’s- it’s complicated,” Alex said, unconsciously playing with his food.

“Boy trouble?” She knew she had stricken a nerve when Alex’ first reaction was getting up from his chair.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have bothered you with this- I just- I’m sorry,“ he quietly mumbled while actively avoiding her eyes and getting ready to walk out of the room. Julie couldn’t help but notice the gulp he was swallowing back.

“Hey, hey, Alex. It’s alright.. This is a safe space, remember?” Her words made him stop in his tracks. He turned around and met her eyes, holding her gaze this time. He slightly nodded before taking a deep breath and sitting down again.

“What’s going on? You can tell me,” Julie calmly continued when he was settled again.

“I’ve just been thinking lately. It’s too hard to explain everything but- basically there’s a guy, yes. We connected really well and helped me with my anxiety. But some things happened and it’s like he’s disappeared. I can’t find a single trace or way to get him back,” he softly spoke, carefully choosing the right words.

“He sounds like a nice guy. What’s his name?” Julie asked, not wanting to overstep any invisible lines.

“Willie.”

“How did you meet him?” She continued when Alex kept it by the short answer.

“We ehm.. we bumped into each other when I was walking down the street,” Alex stated.

“That sounds like a very cliché start of a romantic movie,” Julie chuckled. She put one of the last pieces of pancake on her fork. She couldn’t help but laugh at him and was relieved to see that he joined her as well. However, after a moment his eyes moved to stare out of the window and he stopped laughing out loud. The smile didn’t falter though. Julie noticed a single tear rolling down his cheek. He didn’t seem to bother stopping it from falling down all the way.

“It’s so weird man. I hadn’t even known him for that long, but we really connected. I just miss him,” he spoke, his eyes never leaving their gaze to the outside world.

“But he can’t have vanished right? He must be somewhere,” Julie paused for a moment, “Lex, we’ll find him. I promise.”

He turned away from the window in response, looking straight into her eyes. The look in his eyes gave Julie the feeling that he knew something that she didn’t. He didn’t say a word. He just stared at her.

Another tear rolled down his cheek in silence.

Julie quickly moved over, swinging her legs over the side of her bed. She pushed herself up and motioned for Alex to do the same. As soon as he was on his feet, she wrapped her arms around him. She felt him do the same in return.

It wasn’t the same as the hug he had given to her at the GP. It was different.

Back then she had been sobbing like crazy, soaking his sweater with her tears. This hug was silent. She couldn’t see his face right now, but she had a feeling that he was still crying the same way he was only a moment before. Tears quietly streaming down his face while staring absentmindedly into the distance.

Julie’s thoughts were distracted by the sound of their front door opening and voices ringing through the living room. Alex didn’t react to the sounds in any way. His arms were still wrapped tightly around the upper half of her body. Julie just adjusted her arms, making sure they were comforting her friend the best they could.

“Hey, are you guys in here?” The sound of the door flying open was followed by Reggie’s loud voice. He was quiet for a moment before he spoke again.  
“What’s going on?” He asked, his words spoken more subtly than just a moment before.

Julie felt Alex pull a bit out of their embrace, so she loosened her muscles and let him go. She turned around to look at Reggie as well.

“We were just talking about Willie,” Alex whispered. Even though there were no tears streaming down his cheeks at the moment, his voice was still strained by the tears. His eyes were stained red, his face more pale than it usually was.

Reggie hurriedly walked over in his direction, wrapping his arms tightly around the tall guy without a moment of hesitation. Alex returned the gesture immediately, burying his face in the crook of Reggie his neck for a moment.

“I’m sorry man. We’ll find him, alright?” Reggie softly spoke.

“You don’t know that. You don’t-“ Alex answered. The way he breathed started to get irregular. Julie noticed the way his chest was starting to move way quicker than before.

“Hey,” Reggie spoke firmly. He pulled out of the hug and put his hands on Alex’ shoulders, slightly pushing him back.  
“We will. We won’t rest until we do, okay?” He continued.

Alex slightly nodded. He took it upon himself to get his breathing under control again. His muscles visibly relaxed after a few deep breaths.

A noise at the door made Julie turn around. She noticed Flynn and Luke standing in the door frame. Sadness reflected on Luke’s face, confusion combined with empathy on Flynn’s. Julie noticed a stack of heavy books in Flynn her arms.

“How about you go for a walk, Alex? We’ll make sure there’s tea ready when you come back,” Luke spoke, nothing but kindness in his voice.

Alex quietly agreed, before softly placing his hand on Julie’s shoulder and mouthing a quiet thank you. Flynn and Luke stepped out of the doorway so he could pass, and only a moment later they heard the front door slam shut.

They all stood there in a moment of silence, processing what had just happened. Julie slowly walked back over to her bed, crawling under the covers once again.

“I uhm.. I brought some photo albums. I thought maybe we could look at some old photos. You know, as an activity that you could do from your bed..” Flynn started awkwardly, trying to change the subject.

Julie smiled at her. Even though she missed her family dearly and it still hurt her every day, she loved looking at old photos. Bringing up memories with Flynn. Their shared youth was one of the most precious things that Julie had in her life.

“Bring it on,” Julie said confidently. She patted on her bed, signalling for Flynn to join her. Only a moment later, Flynn had taken a big jump and landed right beside her.

“We’ll give you a moment,” Luke spoke gently, smiling at the both of them. Reggie took the hint and walked after him. He closed the door behind him, giving Julie and Flynn a real private moment.

Julie picked up the first album from the stack. She opened it up on the first page to, once again, look through all the pictures together with Flynn.

It took them only 15 minutes to go through the whole first photo album. Julie immediately opened the second album afterwards. As soon as she opened the heavy book however, a photo fell out and slowly fell onto her lap.

“Hey, what’s this?” She quietly mumbled before she grabbed the photo. She stared at the picture, processing what exactly she saw.

It was a concert hall, the bad quality and lighting suggesting that it was an old picture.

Three, no four, familiar faces stared back at her. On the picture it was Luke, Reggie and Alex, with their respective instruments in their hand. And right between Reg and Luke, her mother was posing for the picture with a bright smile on her face.

Her mother, in her younger years. Posing with Julie’s new friends, who looked like they hadn’t aged a day since the photo was taken.

Her mind immediately went back to the piece of paper she had found in Luke his jacket. The year 1995 was written down on it.

Normally she was quite good with logics. She would figure out what the hell was going on. She always solved the puzzles in her head. But right now, her mind stayed completely blank. She had no clue what this meant.

“What’s on the picture?” Flynn’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts again. She didn’t take a effort to respond. Instead, she stumbled out of her bed as fast as she could. Within a few seconds, she was standing in the living room.

Luke and Reggie were sitting on the couch, obviously just jamming out a bit with both their acoustic and bass guitar on their laps. Alex was just walking through the front door again. The colour had returned a bit to his face.

“What the hell is this?!” Julie asked. She couldn’t help but raise her voice. She held the small picture in the air, obviously not visible for either of the guys.

“What’s what?” Reggie casually asked before he put his bass down and got up from the couch. He slowly walked over and took the picture from Julie’s hand. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking from Luke, to Alex, to eventually Reggie. She tried to read their faces, but couldn’t get any information out of it.

“Oh..” Reggie mumbled. Luke motioned for him to show him the picture. As soon as he saw the content of it his eyes widened. Alex had calmly walked over to Reggie as well and pulled his hand through hair when he realised what they were dealing with.

“I think we should just tell her,” Alex said. His voice lacked the hint of happiness it often reflected. It sounded a bit dull and emotionless, still not recovered from the amount of tears that had left his eyes.

“Tell me what, exactly?” Julie asked. She couldn’t help the hint of judgement in her voice. She thought she had made good friends. New friends. Friends who would always be honest with her. But there they were, obviously hiding some big secret from her.

She sat down in the lounge chair, trying to give her head and body the rest it still needed.

“Alright, Julie. I think we need talk about something…” Luke’s voice sounded the most nervous she had ever heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you so much for reading :)  
> Let me know what you think!!  
> Thank you so much for everyone who is reading, voting and commenting! It means so much, you have no clue!   
> 190 subscriptions, more than 7K hits, 316 kudos?! Damn guys HOLYSHIT. 
> 
> Also, I've been jamming out like crazy to YUNGBLUD his new album. Have you listened to it yet? If so, what's your fav track? I'm addicted to the freak show.


	14. NOT a new chapter - just an update on the progress

I'm sorry if you thought this was a new chapter!!   
I normally update on saturdays so I just wanted to let you know that I didn't have the time this weekend.  
We celebrated Sinterklaas (a Dutch tradition) covid-proof-version with a small circle today. I also have a deadline on monday so there's no time to write tomorrow either.  
However, after this week I'll have christmas break for 2 weeks! I will try to add a new chapter this tuesday, maybe wednesday. But saturday next week at the latest! I'm sorry for making you all wait so long after the cliffhanger.   
Hope you have a great weekend and I'll see you soon :)


	15. Chapter 14

“What’s going on with you guys?” Julie asked. She took a deep breath, trying to push the angry feeling back down. She had the uncomfortable feeling that the three of them had been hiding something big from her and Flynn.

“Well.. Do you remember when I first arrived here and acted all weird, like I knew you and Flynn?” Alex asked, nervously biting down on his thumb nail.

Julie nodded, signalling for him to keep talking.

“There’s kind of a story behind that. Do you-“ Alex answered, but he was interrupted by Flynn her voice.

“A story behind what?” Flynn asked as she walked cautiously into the living room. Her eyes moved from Julie, to Alex, to Reggie and eventually back to Julie.

“Alright girls, you might want to sit down for this,” Reggie said, sighing deeply before pulling his hand through his hair. Julie shared a look with Flynn before they sat down in the big chair together, their bodies pressed firmly against each other.

“I think we need to be completely, one hundred percent honest with you. But I need you to promise you’ll listen- and don’t declare us crazy when we tell you,” Luke said, taking a sip of his water before putting the glass down again.

“You walk around with a piece of paper dated back to 1995. The three of you appear on pictures dated back to 1995, while you don’t even look a day older today. I think the situation is kind of crazy already, so you might just tell us everything,” Julie stated firmly. She took the moment of silence to observe the three of them.

Alex looked like he was having a nervous breakdown. He had bitten off half of his nails already and kept trying to fix his hair. Reggie was leaning back against the couch, his eyes kind of big like he wasn’t sure what they were getting themselves into. Luke’s composure was the opposite of Reggie. He was on the couch as well but was leaning forward, his elbows were resting on his knees and his hands were folded together.

“The point of the story is that we’ve met already- hell we’ve spent months and months together and were even playing in a band,” Luke spoke confidently, pausing for a moment before he continued, “The thing is that we weren’t- I don’t know exactly how to put this but..”

“We were kind of dead. Still are I guess? I don’t know how this shit works?” Reggie spoke up when he noticed Luke searching for his words.

“You were what.” Flynn deadpanned. Her facial expression didn’t shift the tiniest bit.

“Dead. As in- like you know- not alive anymore,” Luke answered nervously, fumbling around with his hands.

Julie her facial expression must have looked like a big question mark, since even Alex sat down and decided to finally speak up about the whole thing.

“We used to be play in a band together in 1995. At one night, we ate some bad hot dogs and basically died because of that. Give over take 25 years later, you were going through your mum her old stuff and found one of our cd’s. You put it in the cd player and BAM there we were,” Alex started.

“No one could see us except for you, we had no clue why. We were only visible when we were performing. So we started a band together and played some gigs,” Luke followed the story up, but he stopped talking for a moment.   
“But.. you don’t remember any of that?” Luke asked, looking nervously from Flynn to Julie.  
“I thought maybe if we told you.. you would like.. remember what we had.”

Julie hated to admit that her mind stayed completely blank. She had no clue what was going in in Flynn’s, but she assumed it was the same.

“No, I’m sorry..” Julie quietly mumbled.  
“But I did have the feeling that I had known you guys for a while, right after I met you. Like I could tell you anything-“

“Wait- You’re ghosts?!” Flynn’s loud voice interrupted Julie midsentence. It seemed that what they were telling her finally hit her. She pushed herself off the chair and quickly strode over to Reggie. She didn’t hesitate one second before she poked him hard in the shoulder.  
“So how can I do that?!”

“It’s complicated, we don’t know exactly how it works either. We hoped that once we talked to you about it, you would remember and like help us figure this shit out,” Alex said, before subtly removing Flynn her hand from Reggie’s shoulder.

“We played some shows, had some small gigs. Our friendship developed and become strong- hell, you and Luke kind of had a thi-“ Reggie was cut off by Alex smacking him across the head. Julie heard a quiet ‘idiot’ leave Alex’ mouth.

She quickly moved her eyes from the two boys over to Luke, who was staring down at his lap. However, as soon as he seemed to realize Julie was looking at him, his eyes met hers.

“We did?” She awkwardly asked. Luke slightly nodded in response, before properly answering her question.

“Yeah.” His answer was short but clear. They were interrupted again by Reggie, who obviously just wanted to continue his story. Julie moved her eyes back to him, but she couldn’t concentrate as much on his story as before.

She and Luke ‘kind of had a thing’? What does that even mean? Had they been dating? Had she been in a relationship with a ghost? Or was it just some stupid crush that they didn’t act on yet. How were she and Flynn even so okay with the fact that they were talking to freaking ghosts?!

Flynn seemed to be totally at ease now, even though the story they were hearing was completely nuts. She had popped up one elbow on the backrest of the couch, her head leaning in the respective hand while listening to Reggie’s story.

Julie shot another quick glance at Luke, who awkwardly stared back at her, before focussing on Reggie’s story once again.

“There was this cliché ‘bad guy’ who said we had to finish our unfinished business so we could cross over out of the ghost world. Otherwise, we would either have to work for him or get these horrible electric shocks,” Reggie paused for a moment, taking a sip of his drink.  
“We thought the Orpheum was our unfinished business and we were probably right, since something weird happened afterwards. We woke up afterwards in some kind of limbo world. It was weird really.. We weren’t in heaven, we weren’t in hell, we didn’t disappear from existence. We were just in some kind of random, empty world.”

“We probably spent a few years there, since you are a few years older now. We just did our own thing there, minding our own business. Even though it was seriously boring. That was the case until one day, some weird looking guy showed up. He basically told us that we had a choice: we could cross over for real, or we could get back to the real world. He knew we all had things back in the real world that we wanted to get back to. We could go back for real. Not as invisible ghosts, but kind of ‘alive’. But he told us that if we would choose for the lather, we would have to bring an offer. He couldn’t tell us what the offer was, exactly. Just that there would be one for all of us,” Luke followed the story up. The took a moment to think through how he would continue the story.

“I think I figured out mine.. Jules, I told you about Willy right?” Alex asked, he was still chewing on his nails nervously.

“Yeah?” She answered, not sure what was about to come.

“I can’t find him. He was a ghost, just like us when we were still invisible for the rest of the world. I spent a lot of time with him when we came here for the first time. I really, really liked him.. But I just can’t find him. I don’t know. I have looked everywhere,” Alex took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves in the process.  
“I think Willy is my offer. We all knew I kind of came back for him, even though he wasn’t completely real. But I think my offer is that I will never see him again.”

There were no tears that followed his words, but his eyes seemed to reflect nothing but sadness, just like earlier that day.

They all stayed silent for a moment, not knowing what to say exactly.

“This story is nuts. But it does explain a lot. Especially why you guys felt so familiar immediately..” Julie mumbled, trying to put her thoughts to words.

“I always knew that you guys weren’t completely real. My gut was telling me this,” Flynn said, her eyes were suspiciously narrowed while she pointed her index finger at the three of them.  
“So you guys are like human-ghosts? Not completely human, not completely ghosts?”

The three of them hesitantly nodded, obviously not sure what they were supposed to be either.

“And we were in a band together? The five of us?” Julie asked.

“Hell girl no way, I can’t play an instrument even if my life would depend on it. I bet it was just the four of you,” Flynn immediately exclaimed.

“Yeah, just the four of us,” Luke confirmed.

“Alright. I need some time to process all of this but.. When is our next band practice?” Julie asked. She pushed herself a bit back, trying to look more confident than she actually felt at the moment.

“Julie- Are you sure..? Do you want to get back into music for real?” Luke asked. She felt like his gaze saw right through the smile that she had just put on her face.

“If you helped me through it back then, I think you could do it now. But.. babysteps.”

“Then we’ll get started as soon as you’re fully recovered,” Alex answered. His eyes were shining in a way that Julie hadn’t seen for days. Maybe not ever since she had been her roommate.

They all stayed silent for a moment, processing what was happening exactly. After a moment though, a grin appeared on Reggie’s face.

“Siri. Play ‘this band is back’!!!” He exclaimed happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for the long wait.  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! I will have christmas break in a few days, so I think I will be able to write more often!
> 
> Let me know what you think :)
> 
> Also, holyshit how are these numbers still going up like this?!  
> Exactly 8700 (!!!) hits, 219 (!!!) subscriptions, 424 kudos (!!!) and 108 (!!!) bookmarks?!  
> I am not even kidding. I remember my first 10 hits and I was like 'holyshit, someone is reading my story!!' and now we're here. So you have absolutely no clue how much this means to me :) Thank you so much!! <3


	16. Chapter 15

It had been a few days since the guys told Julie and Flynn the truth and since they decided to get the band back together. Nothing really exciting happened afterwards, since Julie was still on bedrest. Yesterday however the doctor visited her and gave her medical clearance, which meant she could finally do stuff again as long as she would still take it easy.

Even though she liked her classes and was excited to get back into the hallways again, she couldn’t help but feel nervous. The last time she spoke to Jake, she had broken up with him and he hadn’t agreed. The fact that Alex had cut off their conversation probably didn’t help either.

Luke and Reggie had made sure that the teacher was aware of what was going on and that he changed classes, but she still couldn’t push the nervous feeling in her gut down.

She took a look at her watch to see that she still had fifteen minutes left before her first class of the day would start. She had admitted her level of anxiety to the guys, which was why she was walking to the university building side to side with Reggie right now. They had agreed that as long as it was possible with their own classes, they would walk her to class and back to the dorm if that would make her feel more at ease.

“Are you doing okay, Julie?” Reggie asked, smiling kindly at her while striding along at his steady pace. Julie nodded at him before quietly responding.

“Yeah it’s just.. I’m scared I might run into Jake you know. And I know that he changed classes and that I probably won’t see him, but I’m just not sure what would happen IF we happened to accidentally be at the same place same time,” Julie paused for a moment, taking a deep breath, “I mean, it’s not like we split up mutually or as friends.”

Reggie his eyes softened a tat before he carefully put his arm around her shoulder.

“That’s what we’re here for alright? That’s why I’m walking you to class right now. If he shows up and makes a big deal out of it, I’ll kick his ass right here and now,” he spoke reassuringly.

She quietly thanked him, before they walked another few minutes in a comfortable silence. Julie decided to speak up again when they were getting closer to her assigned classroom.

“Hey, Reg?” She stopped in her tracks, as she didn’t want to have this conversation where others would be able to overhear it.

“Yeah, Jules?” He grinned at her, automatically coming to a halt with his arm still around Julie as well.

“This thing- the thing you mentioned that me and Luke had. What was it like? Were we like- a couple? Or just teenagers with crushes who acted a bit on it? Did we kiss? Did I-“ She stopped herself from talking, not sure how to form the sentences that she wanted to say.

“Did you what?” Reggie asked, his voice soft.

“Did I… break his heart when we first met again? I sure as hell know I would hate it if I saw someone I liked again after years, and they would just be casually be dating someone else. Not even remembering who you were in the first place.”

“To be honest, yeah I think it hurt him pretty bad. But he has been handling it okay. It’s not like you do remember him but just moved on. You can’t help that you had no clue who we were,” he explained. He remained silent for a moment before he continued talking.  
“And it’s hard to describe what you really were to each other. You weren’t officially dating, hell you couldn’t even touch each other back then. But there was a connection between the two of you, helping each other through losing your parents in some way.”

“He lost his parents?” Julie tilted her head curiously to the side.

“It’s a complicated story. You would have to ask him about it yourself,” he spoke before looking at the time and softly pushing Julie forward again. She had only a few minutes left before class would start.

When they came up to the classroom door, Julie quickly peeked inside. When she didn’t spot Jake, she let out a small sigh of relief. This apparently didn’t go unnoticed by Reggie, since he lifted his arm from around her shoulder and put it his hand on her collarbone instead. He looked directly in her eyes.

“It will be alright, Julie. Jake’s not going to be here. And after class, Luke will come and pick you up. Your teacher knows about the situation, alright?” He spoke reassuringly, making sure that his words were heard and understood by Julie. She nodded, mumbling a quiet thank you before she pulled out of his grasp and walked into the classroom.

\--------------------------

It had only taken Julie about 2 minutes to get used to being a classroom again. Once she was settled and listening to her teacher, it was like the last week didn’t even happen at all. Like always, the lesson itself had been quite interesting. But the end of the class, Julie felt tired and drained, like she had taken in too much information at once.

She didn’t spot Luke at the doorway yet, but she had to pack her stuff and leave the classroom anyways since there was another class right after theirs. Once she had stuffed all her belongings in the cotton backpack, she swung it over one shoulder and slowly strolled over to the doorway.

Once she stepped outside of the classroom, she immediately spotted a figure leaning against the wall. Her first reaction was to let out her breath, which she wasn’t aware of holding at all. She felt her shoulder relax and the tension in her back left her body.

The relaxed feeling only lasted for a few seconds however.

When she looked into the eyes of whom she assumed was Luke, she was met by a whole other pair of familiar eyes.

Way too familiar.

She had looked into these way too many times.

She opened her mouth for a second, but she felt at lost for words.

“Julie-“ Jake started.

Julie automatically turned around on her heels, starting to walk away at a fast pace. She had no clue why exactly Luke hadn’t been there to walk her home or why Jake had showed up. She only knew that she had to get out of here.

This was the exact situation she had feared this morning. She felt her heart rate increase more and more with every step she took.

“Julie- Julie, wait!” Jake his voice sounded way too close for her liking as it rang through the hallway. It was only when she heard quick footsteps behind her that she realized he had been chasing her through the building.

It felt like her heart stopped when a strong hand grabbed her shoulder, forcefully turning her around.

“What the hell-“ Julie started, but she was interrupted by Jake.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He immediately said, irritation reflected in his voice.

“I’m getting away from you. I’m just going home,” Julie explained. It took her a lot of effort not to slap him across the face right there and then.

“I don’t think so. Don’t act like we’ve broken up when we haven’t properly talked about the whole situation,” Jake spoke. His hand was still on her shoulder, gripping her just a bit too tightly. She tried to subtly shake it off, but as she moved, the force in his grip only increased.

“It’s not that hard, Jake. We’ve broken up. You and me?” She paused for a moment, pointing from herself to him and back again with her index finger to add more power to her words, “Not. Together.”

His movements were quick as he grabbed the arm she had used to point at the both of them. He twisted it around in a way that made her whole body move into an awkward position.

“And I said. We haven’t talked about it yet, so no decisions have been made out that. We’re going to my place, right now.” The words he spat at her were dripping with venom.

He started to walk away, her hand still tight around Julie her arm. The pain it caused when she objected was insane, so she couldn’t do anything but stumble after the tall guy, her body still twisted in an awkward way.

It was weird how the hallways always seemed to be way too busy, but as soon as you needed help, nobody was around. She knew the only way to get people’s attention was by making noise, so that’s what she decided to do.

“HEY! SOMEBODY HELP! HE’S HURTING ME!!” She yelled at the top of her lungs, her voice strained by the pain he was causing her.

He immediately turned around, throwing a hand over her mouth to muffle her voice. Julie used the situation to fully stomp her feet down on his toes.

“HEY! What’s going on there?!” Some woman yelled down the hall, but Julie had no clue who it was or where this person was. She still had to save herself if she didn’t want to get hurt.

As soon as Jake stepped back in a reflex and was not touching her at all anymore, Julie turned around once again and tried to make a run for it.

She had taken three steps before she felt her head get yanked back by her hair. The pain was indescribable. The sudden movement made her lose her balance, causing her to hit the cold stone floor. She was immediately jerked back up again by Jake, who gave another attempt to dragging her out of the building.

Julie had stumbled another 10 meters after Jake before his grip on her was forcefully ended by a third person.

“What the actual fuck do you think you’re doing?!” It was Luke’s voice which rang through the hallway now. Julie took a few dumbfounded steps back as she watched Luke literally give Jake a right hook to the face. Right after the first one, he continued with a second one. And a third one. Even when Jake fell to the ground, Luke wouldn’t stop.

She felt hands on her shoulders, in an attempt to calm her down. She heard other voices around her. People asking what was happening. People yelling for the boys to stop. But Julie couldn’t properly decipher what they were all saying. She couldn’t react to the hands on her shoulder. She had no clue who were in the hallway with her. People’s voices sounded blurred. Far away. Out of focus.

Julie only saw the two guys fighting right in front of her. Only when she noticed the red liquid on Luke his hands, she was pulled back to the horrifying reality of it all.

“Luke, Luke, please. Stop!” She said, but he didn’t react to her at all. His movements didn’t slow down one bit.

She strode forward as fast as she could. She repeated herself once again.

“Luke, stop it. It’s enough,” she spoke loud and clearly, which caused him to look up for a millisecond. His eyes reflected nothing but anger as he just slightly shook his head at her.

Julie took another step forward to the fast moving boy. She reached out her hand, only noticing how bad it was trembling as she put it softly on Luke’s shoulder. He stopped in his tracks when her hand touched the fabric on his shoulder.

She slowly lowered herself down, crouching besides her friend. When his gaze met hers, his eyes softened immediately.

“Thank you,” Julie whispered. They probably both knew she thanked him for more than one thing.

He just stared at her, reaching out one of his bloody hands. It was only when he reached out and wiped away her tears, that she realized she had been crying. He softly cupped her cheek in his hand. She let out a shaky breath as she leaned into his hand, closing her eyes to process the situation she was in.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered back.

“Yes, Mr. Patterson! What do you think you’re doing?” A man Julie had only seen once before announced his presence with these words. She knew him as the head of the university. He took a short pause before he sternly spoke again.  
“My office, right now.”

Luke shortly nodded before pushing himself back up, pulling Julie up with him in the process.

“As for you, Julie, get yourself a cup of tea and take the rest of the day off. Mrs. Gold, can you please take Jake to the nurse? The rest of you, OUT of the hallway and back into your classes, NOW!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn! Another chapter. Long live Christmas Break!  
> Let me know what you think :)
> 
> Also, this country is once again in lockdown. Do you guys have anything exciting (and covid-proof) planned over this break?


	17. Chapter 16

“No, that’s not fair! Luke didn’t start. He was just defending me,” Julie rose her voice through the hall. She watched with horror as Luke was about to walk off with Mr. Johnson. Luke turned his head to look back at her, smiling apologetically.

“It’s alright Jules. I went too far. Don’t worry about me,” he paused for a moment, “Go home and grab a cup of tea, I’ll be right behind you.”

Julie nodded slightly at him when she realized that protesting more wouldn’t get them anywhere. She turned around on her heels and was about to walk home, when she realized she was all alone in the hallway.

All the spectators of the fight had went back to their classrooms again, and Mrs. Gold was just turning around the corner with a beaten up Jake.

Even though she saw Jake walk out of sight like that and there was no chance of randomly seeing him in the hallway again, she couldn’t get her feet to move. She just stood there, staring at the path that she should be taking right there and then.

The best way to deal with what just happened was to go home and talk about it. She wanted to do it, she really did. But it felt like her legs were paralyzed. Like her feet were glued to the floor.

She had no clue how long she had been standing like that, but when she realized that she wouldn’t be able to go home alone, she decided to lower herself down on the floor.

Julie carefully slid her phone from her pocket. Her hand was still trembling, which made it hard to read the words on the screen. She managed select the one person she could always count on, before hitting the call button.

She put the device against her right ear and kept listening to the ringing sound until it eventually went to voicemail.

“Flynn can’t pick up the phone right now. Please try again later or leave a voice mail message after the beep.”

Julie didn’t bother to leave a voice mail, since she needed to go home right now, and not whenever Flynn would check her phone.

She looked at the screen again, supporting the phone with her other hand as well in an attempt to stop it from trembling too much.

She scrolled through her contacts before she finally landed on Alex’ name. Her thumb floated above the screen. She felt bad for always bothering him with her problems and she would probably just have let it go if she could.

But she had to get home and couldn’t think of any other way.

She pushed the call button and once again held the phone next to her ear. It rang several times and Julie was convinced it would go to voicemail as well, before her thoughts were interrupted by Alex’ voice.

“Hey, Jules. What’s up?” He paused a moment to catch his breath. The noise around him suggested that he was outside in a pretty crowded place.  
“Aren’t you supposed to be walking back to the dorm with Luke?”

“Alex, something happened..” Julie spoke quietly, not sure what words to use to describe the situation.

“What happened? Is everything okay?” Alex asked between two breaths.

“No- I don’t know- It just happened all so fast- He told me to get tea but I don’t know how to get home,” Julie stumbled over her words as she spoke.

“Honey, take a deep breath. Who told you to get tea? Where is Luke, is he not with you?”

Julie tried to take a deep breath, but only half succeeded before she continued talking.

“No- He was. But Jake was here before Luke and then Luke beat him up and I don’t know what’s going to happen because then Mr. Johnson came over and he was so angry at Luke and Luke had to come to the office and everyone’s gone now and I’m alone and I don’t know how to get home. But he told me to get tea and I don’t know how.” She really tried to explain what happened, but was convinced like it sounded like a whole lot of nonsense when the words left her mouth.

“Shit. Where are you? I was out for a run but I’ll try to come and meet you as fast as I can. Are you okay for now?” Alex spoke quickly, concern reflected in his voice.

“I’m in the hallway, in the arts building. Near classroom 0.23,” she spoke quietly. She took a moment before answering the last question.  
“Yeah, I’ll be okay. Just- don’t take too long.”

“Give me 5 minutes, alright?” Alex’ voice was soft and kind. The tone in his voice made tension in her shoulders leave her body, making her relax just a bit more.

“Yeah, thank you,” she whispered before hanging up the phone.

She just stared at the screen of the little device while she waited for Alex. She opened Facebook, scrolled through it for a bit without absorbing any information, and then closed it again. She opened Instagram, scrolled through it for a bit, and closed it again. While she could act very gen-z from time to time and scroll through her social media for hours, she felt way too restless at the moment to use any of those apps.

It felt like an eternity before she finally heard Alex’ voice ring through the hallway.

“Hey, crazy. What are you doing on the floor?” He chuckled, obviously in an attempt to lighten the mood. She saw him walking over to her with two cups in his hands. As soon as he was next to her, he put the cups of steaming hot liquid on the ground and crouched beside her.

“I don’t know Alex, I wanted to go home but I just couldn’t do it. I just- Suddenly he was there and-“ Julie put her face in her trembling hands as she tried to find the right words.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Let’s walk over to that bench over there alright?” Alex asked as he softly put his hand on her back and rubbed it subtly.

“I can’t Alex- I can’t get home. I can’t just walk around the campus like that. What if we run into Jake again?” Julie asked, her eyes meeting his as he was crouching down right beside her.

“I know, Jules. But look, the bench is right over there. It’s about 15 meters. And we’re completely alone in this hallway. No Jake, or anyone else, to be seen. It’s just us,” he paused for a moment.  
“Besides, I bet your ass off that bench is way more comfortable than this cold floor. Come one, let’s go there together.”

He pushed himself up from the floor again, stretching his legs before offering his hand to Julie. She immediately was pulled up by his strong arms after she had hesitantly grabbed his hand.

“Still no one to be seen. I think the coast is clear,” Alex stated as he softly pulled her along by her hand towards the bench. His quick movements made it impossible for her to object, her feet automatically followed him as he directed her through the hallway.

Somewhere inside, she was relieved that Alex did not give her the choice whether she was going to move or not. When they arrived at their destination, Alex softly pushed her down on the bench before he quickly walked back and grabbed the drinks from the floor.

“Here’s the tea you were talking about,” he said before he handed her one of the cups. She dumbfoundedly stared at him while accepting the hot cup.

“Tea? Where did you find tea this quickly?” She asked as she blew at the liquid. Her hands had, thank god, stopped trembling badly so she was able to hold the cup now without any of the tea. She still felt tension in her whole body and her heart rate still wasn’t back to normal, but Alex sitting beside her made her feel a bit more at ease.

“In the lunch room for professors. I just walked in, said good morning to some staff. Pretended that I belonged there. Some looked at me weirdly but no one stopped me when I got tea and walked out again,” he chuckled. Laughing at his own words before continuing.  
“Maybe I should make my job out of it sometime, I apparently seem to fit in.”

“Jeez, Alex. And you call me crazy for sitting on a floor,” Julie grinned at him before taking a sip of her tea. She noticed some tension leaving his body as soon as she smiled at him. He took a sip of his drink as well before he turned his body in her direction, a more serious expression appearing on his face.

“Hey uhm, do you want to like- talk about what happened?” He asked, searching for the right words.

Julie shifted her eyes from his to her cup of tea. She avoided eye contact at all costs as she started speaking.

“Nothing that he hasn’t done already, actually. Luke was supposed to walk me home, but when I walked out of the classroom Jake was there instead. He wouldn’t accept that I broke up with him and tried to drag me along to his place. I started making a lot of noise which caught people’s attention. I fell to the floor as well and he pulled my hair, but those are just bruises. They will heal. Anyways. I don’t know exactly what happened next but somehow Luke was suddenly there. He got me out of Jake’s grip, what I’m very thankful for. But then he started beating up, like- for real-“

Alex quickly grabbed the cup out of her hands as they started trembling once again. She put her hand in front of her mouth as she tried to hold her tears and sobs back. She felt his arm slide around her shoulders as she tried to find the words she wanted to say.

“He stopped- eventually- But Alex-“ She rambled on.

“Yeah?” He quietly asked, nodding for her to keep talking.

“I know you guys said me and Luke had like a thing. And I’m willing to get to know him better and find out what kind of friendship we had but-“ A hiccup interrupted her midsentence. She quickly wiped away a few tears that had escaped her eyes before she continued talking.  
“But, like.. I don’t even know him that well. I mean yes I’ve known him for the time you guys have been around at this university and of course I know him as a good friend that I can talk to. But hearing from you what we had before you disappeared and my memory was erased. It makes me feel scared and anxious. I don’t know how to behave around him now. I think twice about everything I do.”

Julie motioned for Alex to give her her cup of tea, so she could quickly take a few sips. She handed the cup back afterwards, as her hands still didn’t feel completely steady.

“And you know.. I just got out of an abusive relationship. The way that Luke beat Jake up- I defended him on the spot yes but I realized that I didn’t even know him at all if he would do something like that. If he does that to Jake, who else will he treat like that? What if the same thing would happen in a relationship? Or his friends if he gets in a fight with them-“

“Jules, hey. I want you to look at me,” Alex sternly interrupted her. He put one hand on her shoulder, turning her body in his direction. Two fingers were cupped under her chin, forcing her to look Alex right in the eyes.

“I have never- ever seen Luke do anything like that. I understand that it’s confusing and very confronting if you just came out of an abusive relationship. And it’s wrong, I completely agree. But Luke would never treat his friends like that. He treats them, and everyone around him, with respect,” he paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing.  
“Give him the benefit of the doubt. And don’t force yourself to do anything you’re not ready for. Yeah, the two of you were almost a thing back then. But that was back then, and we’re here right now. Don’t feel obligated to get closer to Luke or anything, he won’t expect you to either. Just know that in the past, the two of you did in fact get along really well. Keep your mind open. Try to rediscover your friendship. If in the end it turns out to become more, so be it. If you’ll just become great friends, so be it. If you discover that you hate each other, so be it. Let the expectations of yourself go. They make you feel way too stressed.”

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of footsteps down the hall. Julie felt her heart rate increase immediately. She quickly turned away from Alex to see Luke walking down the hall in their direction.

“Remember to breathe alright, I’m here with you. Nothing’s going to happen,” Alex whispered as Luke neared them. Julie slightly nodded at him before shifting her eyes from him to Luke.

“Hey, how did it go?” She quietly asked, her voice still strained by the few tears that had left her eyes.

“I’m suspended for the rest of the week,” he said as he came to a halt next to their bench.  
“Jules, I’m sorry. I went way too far. I don’t know what was going on with me, I just couldn’t stop.”

“It’s okay Luke, honestly. Don’t worry about it. As long as it’s a one time thing,” she spoke. She caught Alex giving her a small smile in the corner of her eyes.

“Honestly. I won’t ever do that again, I promise. But Jules,” he paused for a moment, looking from her to Alex and back to her again.  
“I think it’s time to take legal action. Press charges against Jake. I talked about it with Mr. Johnson as well. They can expel him if you’re willing to take steps like that.”

Julie felt a flicker of doubt. She hated what happened, yes. She pretty much hated Jake now too. But causing someone else to get kicked out of university? Possibly ruining their future? She wasn’t 100% sure about that, no matter how much she hated the other person.

Alex softly adjusted the hand he still had on her shoulder, subtly rubbing his thumb over the fabric of her clothes. He smiled in a comforting way before he spoke.

“I think that’s the best thing to do right now. But first, let’s get you home.”

She immediately felt tension rise in her body again when she thought of walking around the campus. Jake could be around every corner. Maybe, even though she hated the idea, it would be better if he was to be expelled.

Alex got up from the bench beside her, holding his hand out for Julie to pull her up as well.

“Come on,” he spoke, giving her a small smile as she grabbed his hand.

“Guys- I don’t know-“ She said, the nerves she felt on the inside were clearly reflected in her voice now.

“We’ll be here. Right beside you. No one’s beating up anyone this time. Just hold on to my hand. I won’t let go until we’re home, alright?” Alex spoke softly. Julie looked from Alex to Luke, who was staring right back at her. His eyes reflected both worry and sadness. He gave her a comforting smile as soon as she looked at him, however. She looked back at Alex and nodded, signalling for him to start walking.

Julie let her feet carry her home, automatically following Alex and Luke. She hold on for dear life on Alex’ hand the whole walk back, making sure not to let it slip for one second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up guys! Another chapter! What did you think??? Let me know in the comments.  
> Also, thank you so much once again for all the kudos, hits, comments and subscriptions!  
> We're at 9844 hits right now. Will we make it to the 10K with this new chapter?   
> Would be amazing! All thanks to you guys :)


	18. Chapter 17

It had been a few days since the whole thing with Jake had happened. They had walked back home afterwards and Julie had spent the rest of that day just working on some deadlines, trying to distract her mind. She was glad she could say that she did in fact finish all her papers that day and that she had mailed them immediately to her professors. It made her list of things to worry about a bit smaller again, and she actually had time to relax for a few days before the new homework assignments and deadlines would catch up with her.

These last few days, the guys had been amazing. Anywhere she needed to go, one of them would come with her. She knew this was only a temporary solution and that she would have to get out on her own again, but for now it felt good. Thank god they had not run into Jake somewhere in campus since the day he assaulted her.

She was walking down the road now, with Luke right next to her and Reggie lagging behind. Julie enjoyed the fresh air and the sun on her skin after sitting inside of the musty police building for about an hour. After a few days of worrying and uncertainty, she had to decided to press charges against Jake. Alex really wanted to come along but had an important class he couldn’t miss, so Luke and Reggie took her instead.

It took a lot of paperwork, talking and proof, but in the end she kind of had success. The kind police officer told her that they would file a restraining order against him, which meant that the school could kick him out because he would often be too close to Julie. However, it would take a few days for all the paperwork to be progressed so in the meantime it was the best to always have someone walk with her. So that’s what they did.

Julie walked alongside Luke, trying to find words to say. Normally she wasn’t this awkward, but like she told Alex, it was between her and Luke since she knew about their history. She was about to start an everyday conversation, when Luke cut her off before she could even start.

“So, Julie. With that behind us, I was thinking..” he paused for a moment, looking sideways at her to make sure she was listening. She nodded for him to go on.  
“Well, we talked about playing together as a band. How about you and I try another music lesson when we get home. Nothing big, we’ll just try to get your touch with music back? Or did you have other plans?”

Julie squinted her eyes against the sun while looking at him. Even though she felt her nerves grow at the thought of playing music again, she had promised the guys that they would play with their band again. What better way to start again then just try to play some music, slowly progressing with just one of them? She hesitantly nodded at him, before looking forward again.

“Yeah, are you sure? You are allowed to say no, you know,” Luke added when he noticed her hesitation.

“No, no, it’s okay. I think it’s a good thing to do, to be honest,” she smiled reassuringly at him.

“Okay, good. There was this song back in the day that helped you get back into music, I thought maybe we could look at that one? Just try to play it and maybe sing a bit as well?”

“Yeah, sure.” Julie nodded at him, feeling a bit more confident then before. She still felt the tension in her muscles, but Luke’s soft touch to his words made her relax a tat.

“Well, in that case, we’ll need two keyboards. One for you, to play on, and one for me so I can try to explain. I’ll have to get them via the borrow system at the storage in the music building. Is it okay if I go there and meet you in the apartment? Reggie can walk you home, right Reg?” He made sure to articulate all his words properly, but rambled at a high speed. The mention of his name seemed to pull Reggie out of his thoughts.

“Heh what?” He spoke from behind them.

Both Luke and Julie stopped in their tracks and turned around to look at Reggie. He was looking at them vaguely, like he had no clue what their were talking about.

“What?” He repeated himself.

“Nothing. Can you walk Julie home? I will be home in about 15 minutes,” Luke grinned, clapping Reggie’s shoulder.

Before Reggie could respond, Luke skipped off in the direction of the music building. Julie smiled at Reggie, who looked lost for words, before they started moving in the direction of the apartment again.

Julie calmly walked the whole way beside him, chatting together about what not. She didn’t spend much time together with just Reggie yet, so she was glad they had this opportunity to get to know each other a bit better. She still felt her heart rate rise at each corner they were about to turn, afraid of who would lurk behind the walls. However, Reggie’s presence made her mind feel a bit more at ease. Even IF they would run into Jake, she trusted Reggie to handle the situation and get her home safely.

It took them about 10 minutes before they were at the apartment, where they immediately put the kettle on and plopped down on the couch. They chatted for about another 15 minutes while sipping their tea, before Luke barged into the living room with two keyboards under his arm.

“Alright, you ready Jules?” He asked while grinning at her.

She hesitantly nodded at him, the nerves once again resurfacing. Luke stormed past her into her bedroom, clearly in a hurry since the heavy instruments were not easy to hold for that long.

Reggie comfortingly smiled at her before rubbing her knee.

“You got this,” he whispered before signalling to her to follow Luke into the bedroom.

She pushed herself of the couch, forcing her feet to guide her to the bedroom. When she walked through the doorway, Luke had already set up the two keyboards on standards next to each other and was just putting sheet music on top of them.

“Hey, you okay?” He once again asked. She gave him a small smile, relieved that he was willing to take it slow with her. When she continued walking in his direction, he signalled for her to sit down on one of the stools.

She lowered herself on the small piece of furniture, not entirely sure whether she would get comfortable on it. However, she distracted herself by letting her eyes quickly scan the sheet music.

Wake up.

“So this song is mainly piano and vocals. There are some backing drums in it, but we can just leave them out today. I thought it would be best to just look at the notes and try to play the intro?” Luke asked as her reorganized his own stack of sheet paper.

Julie just nodded for him to go on, since she did not have any intelligent words to add to what he was saying.

“Uhm, so the first few notes and chords go like this, look closely” Luke said as he slowly showed it to her once. Julie tried to copy his finger settings in an attempt to imprint the chords to her muscles.

“I’m playing the exact same thing as on the sheet paper. You can read notes, right?” He asked.

“Yeah, yeah I can read notes.”

“Alright. So I think maybe the best thing to do is to play like the intro of the song together? Just slowly, note by note. You can hear what you have to play by listening to me and you can see it by reading the sheet paper.”

After she agreed with the strategy, they started playing very slowly. The touch of the keyboard on her fingers felt familiar, a small smile automatically appeared on her face.

While she kept playing along with Luke, she noticed two things. The first was that you never forgot how to read notes, no matter how long ago it had been. It was a bit rusty, yes, but her fingers automatically found the right keys on the keyboard.

The second thing was that she knew this song. She did not know how, or why. But her fingers moved way too fluently. This was not the first time she was playing this song. She closed her eyes for a moment, ignoring the notes on the sheets of paper and just letting her muscle memory do the work for her.

Luke slightly picked up the pace. Julie followed.

As she kept her eyes closed, she imagined for a moment that she was back in the days when her family was still alive. She would perform her popular pop songs or original songs for her family in the garage. They would pretend it was a real concert, would yell ‘we want more’ and never hold back while applauding her. They never failed to encourage her in doing what she loved the most. Play music.

She smiled at the thought and slowly opened her eyes. She was met by her bedroom. No family smiling proudly at her. No applause. No asking for more. No warm hugs of her mom and dad afterwards.

Just a guy who was teaching her how to play a song.

She felt her smile falter. She tried to keep up with Luke, but her thoughts seemed to interrupt her ability to play properly. She missed a few notes, causing Luke to look up hat her sideways. She managed to hit the right notes again for a moment before she completely messed up.

She didn’t hit the right notes, she didn’t get the pace right anymore, her playing was getting sloppy overall.

She stopped her fingers from moving and turned off the keyboard.

“Luke, I can’t do this,” she sighed before turning to look at him.  
“It’s just- I can’t help- My parents-“ She stumbled over her words as she tried to explain what she felt. Luke however interrupted her waterfall of words.

“I know, Julie,” he sighed. He turned sideways as well, putting his elbows on his knees as he looked at her, his chin resting on top of his balled fists.  
“You may not like what I’m about to say, but I need you to listen to me. Your parents, they were proud of you for playing music, right?”

Julie nodded at him, not sure what was about to come.

“You might not be able to see them right now, but I’m sure they’re proud of what you’re doing right now. Hell, I’m incredibly proud of you sitting here. You’re playing music again! They must be so proud of you standing up for yourself, taking care of yourself, getting back to doing something you used to love so much.”

“Sure, but I can’t Luke- I can’t-“ Julie interrupted him as tears started to form behind her eyes. A single one rolled over the edge, before more followed down her cheek.

“Julie- maybe you’ll hate me for what I’m about to say but- wipe away those tears,” Luke said.

“Sorry.. this was a mistake,” Julie mumbled as she pushed herself up from her stool, getting ready to leave the room. A hand on her arm made her stop in her tracks however, softly pushing her down again.

“Listen to me, just listen. Your parents must have been insanely proud back then. They probably are right now as well. But you know how you’ll get them to be even more proud? By not giving up. By pushing through. You are so talented. You can do this. WE can do this,” he said as he pointed his finger from him to her and back to himself again. His eyes were soft as he spoke.  
“You are not going through it alone.”

“I want to.. But I’m a mess Luke. I can’t help but imagine them watching me play. When I close my eyes, I’m back at the garage at home, playing one of my songs for them. But here I am, sitting in my fucking bedroom and they’re all dead. I can’t. I miss them so much.” She did nothing to stop more tears from flowing down her cheeks.

“Julie, I want you to wipe away your tears. I want you to give it another try. Push through. You’re feeling very emotional, which is the only logical thing to happen. But instead of crying right now, I want you to push through and put all your emotions into the music you’re playing. Make it the most beautiful you’ve ever played. Make. Them. Proud. And afterwards, you can break down as long and bad as you need to. I’ll be here,” he paused, smiling reassuringly at her as she started to wipe away some of the tears.  
“Is there something you really, really feel like doing after we’re done today?” He added, his words nothing but kind.

“Can we go and trash something? To take out some frustration?” Julie shyly asked, not sure whether what she asked was appropriate.

“Sure,” Luke grinned at her. He turned back to his keyboard and signalled for her to do the same. 

He started to play the intro of the song once again. Julie wiped away a few last tears before trying to fully focus on her fingers, sliding carefully over the keyboard.

At the end of the intro, she felt her concentration falter once again and missed a few notes. As she bit her lip and tried her best to hold back her tears, Luke’s voice distracted her from breaking down again.

“Come on, Jules. Push through now,” he spoke encouragingly.

She slightly nodded to herself. She would not give up this time. Push back the tears. Put your emotions in the music. Make them proud.

She managed to keep her fingers moving. Playing the right notes at the right time. She quickly glanced sideways to see Luke staring at her, his eyes reflecting a sparkle she hadn’t seen this session before. He looked back from her to the sheet music before he started singing.

“Here’s the one thing I want you to know  
You got someplace to go,” he started. Julie quickly joined in as she read along on the sheet music.

“Life’s a test, yes  
But you go toe to toe  
You don’t give up, no, you grow,” they sang together. The way their voices blended together took her of guard, but she managed to continue playing and singing.

They kept singing and playing like that until the start of the chorus. To her surprise, Luke’s voice quietened and he stopped playing his keyboard. Julie wasn’t sure what exactly his plan was, but she didn’t want to give up now. Not now that she was finally playing music again.

“Wake up, wake up, if it’s all you do  
Look out, look inside of you  
It’s not what you lost, it’s what you’ll gain  
Raising your voice to the rain,” she peacefully sang. Her fingers automatically played the right notes and chords. When she realised she wasn’t looking at the sheet music for the lyrics any longer, she decided to quickly hand them over to Luke.

She needed to find out if she did actually remember this song somehow and if so, how much exactly she remembered.

As Luke dumbfoundedly accepted the stack of paper, Julie kept singing and playing.

She did not know what happened to her memory and why, but she knew that she did not miss a single note or chord after putting away the sheet music.

As Julie played and sung the last note, she felt like she was suddenly was pulled back to reality after living in a weird dream.

A dream where she was playing again.

There were no proud parents. No applause. But as she looked over at Luke, she saw him staring at her with big eyes and a huge grin on his face.

She felt proud, for pushing through. But at the same time, the harsh reality hit her that her family was gone and would never come back to enjoy these moments with her.

“You did it,” Luke beamed at her before pushing himself up from his stool. She smiled back at him. Tears formed behind her eyes once again and she allowed them to quietly stream down her skin.

“Yeah,” she quietly mumbled before she was caught up in his embrace. She inhaled his scent, relaxing her muscles as she was wrapped up in his arms. She let out a quiet sob.

Luke softly pulled out of the hug, putting his hands on her shoulder to look straight into her eyes.

“Proud tears or sad tears?” He quietly asked.

“Both,” Julie whispered. She immediately was pulled back into his grip. She allowed more sobs to escape her mouth, as she let all her emotions go.

She had no idea how long they had been standing like that, before Luke eventually interrupted their moment.

“Alright, ready to trash some stuff now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> Hope you had a lovely christmas :)
> 
> So, this was a long chapter with a lot of Juke. Let me know what you think!  
> Thank you so much for all the reads, comments and votes! You have no idea how happy it makes me to see them!! 
> 
> Also, we passed 10K reads. Even better, we passed 10.5K reads! What? How?! Thank you so much!! Don't be shy, say hi. I would really love to know who my readers are :)


	19. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: A lot of swearing this chapter!

“Jules, are you ready to go?” Luke asked as he carefully stepped into her bedroom. Julie grabbed her coat of her chair, sliding her arms through the sleeves while she nodded and walked over to him.

“Alright, do you have everything? Is your phone charged? It may take a while before we’re back,” he quietly spoke. It was a bit after 10 pm already, which meant that it was pitch dark outside already. They automatically lowered their voices as they didn’t want to wake anyone in the building up.

“Yeah,” she whispered back, before wearily looking past Luke into the living room.  
“I thought you said Alex and Reggie were coming as well?”

“They’re already there, preparing our night out.” Luke smiled at her before turning around and walking in the direction of their front door.

It was a Friday night, which meant they didn’t any duties tomorrow. When Luke told Julie they were going to break some stuff the proper way, she expected to maybe smash some things for like twenty minutes directly after their music lesson. But Luke had told her to take the afternoon off and be ready to head out for the night.

She put on a scarf before she ran after the tall boy, making sure to look the door behind her as they walked into the hallway.

It was a 25 minute drive to a remote terrain. If she wouldn’t have known Luke better, she would have been sure she was about to get robbed and murdered. However, Luke comfortingly smiled at her before shutting down the engine and getting out of the car. Before she got the chance to move, the door on her side was opened, revealing a grinning Luke.

As soon as she stepped into the fresh air, the sound of a rustling river hit her ears. She had no clue where exactly they were, but it had a calming effect.

A hand on between her shoulder blades subtly pushed her in the direction of the sound. They carefully stepped forward through the high grass and bushes, making sure not to trip over in the process.

It took them about five minutes before a very happy looking Alex and Reggie appeared in sight. They seemed to be playing some kind of improvised basketball game, before they noticed the two friends approaching.

“What’s up guys?!” Reggie yelled at them as Luke and Julie closed the distance.

Alex quickly threw the ball in the grass, where it stayed still, before he walked over to Luke and give him a bro hug. Once they finished their greetings, he quickly strode over to Julie and wrapped her in a tight embrace.

“Luke told me you played music again today. I’m so proud of you,” he whispered, so only she could hear. She smiled in his chest before he buried his face in the crook of her neck for a moment.

“Hey, Lex. My turn,” Reggie’s voice interrupted their moment, causing Alex to finally pull away. Julie let out a laugh before she was wrapped up in Reggie his arms as well.

“Alright, Julie, are you ready to break some stuff?!” Reggie grinned happily at her. It was clear he had been needing this moment for a long time as well.

She had barely time to respond before a very loud and horrorlike sound erupted from where Luke was standing. Julie couldn’t help but jump a little at the sudden noise. It took her a moment to register that it was music that they were hearing, as the guitars seemed to be tuned so low that they sounded like they had come straight from hell.

“What?” She asked confused as she stared at the brown haired boy. He seemed to notice her discomfort and quickly paused the music.

“What what? You didn’t think we were going to listen to this Justin Bieber bloke while we were going to smash shit, right?” He asked, a grin seemed to be permanently plastered on his face by now.

“What kind of music is this?” Julie sceptically asked, a flicker of doubt inside of her if she would be even able to handle the noise.

“It’s on this app called Spotify. I clicked on a playlist called ‘Nu Metal Generation’, thought it would do” he responded, staring at the little device in his hand while speaking.

“Let’s get your punk on, Jules. We’re going to have a wild night!” Reggie exclaimed, nearly bouncing around through the grass in his enthusiasm.

“Maybe start with Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit, I think she can handle that,” Alex quickly said in an attempt to make Julie feel more at ease with the whole situation.

“Won’t we cause noise disturbance for the neighbourhood?” Julie added, staring into the darkness in an attempt to find houses nearby. She saw nothing but a pitch dark field and forest.

“What neighbourhood? We’re in the middle of nowhere!” Luke answered before hitting the play button. There was still a lot of noise coming out of the little box, but this was better to handle than the music they had started with.

After the music had started, Reggie quickly walked over to the long grass and lifted a stack of plates and other porcelain objects in his arms. It was they all seemed old and damaged already, otherwise Julie would have objected.

She stared at Reggie and Luke as they carefully made a construction. After about 5 minutes, they had finally managed to construct something they could use. They put one plate on top of it, giving each other a high five when they realized it didn’t fall down and their plan had worked. Just a moment later, Alex came out of nowhere and handed her a bat.

“Now, are you ready to smash some shit to pieces?” He grinned at her before stepping back and guiding her towards the construction.

Julie quietly thanked him before accepting the bat. She knew she said she wanted break stuff, but she didn’t expect it to actually happen. Not in this extent, anyways.

Her gaze shifted carefully from Alex, to Reggie and eventually to Luke. Alex was expectantly looking at her, while Luke and Reggie were grinning at each other while singing along to a song she didn’t recognize. She slowly lifted the bat, getting ready to smash it.

She had never done something like this before and her movements reflected her doubt in the activity. As she hit the plate, it just shoved off the construction, flew through the air and landed in the grass about 2 meters further along.

“Wait, wait!” Luke yelled, walking over to the plate in the grass with a fast pace before grabbing it and putting it back where it came from.

Reggie followed, but strode over to Julie’s side instead of working on the construction.

“Alright Julie, you’re doing this to let your emotions out right?” He asked, his eyes glistering at her through the dark.

“Yeah?” She hesitantly agreed, not sure where he was going with his questions.

“Tell us why you need this,” Luke said.

“What? I already told you guys.”

“Tell us again,” Reggie stated.

“Because my family died?” She didn’t mean for it to sound like a question, but it did.

“And now with more confidence,” Luke’s voice rang through the air.

“Because my family died,” she said again, more clearly this time but still a bit quiet.

“I can’t hear you.” It was Alex this time. She curiously tilted her head to the side, looking at him in an attempt to understand what he was getting at.

“Louder,” Luke said.

“Because my family died.”

“Louder.”

“Because my FAMILY fucking DIED.”

“Can’t hear you.”

“BECAUSE MY WHOLE FAMILY IS DEAD,” she screamed at the top of her lungs now. She wasn’t sure whether her frustration was directed towards the guys, towards herself or just towards the world. Tears pricked behind her eyes, a single one escaping and rolling down her cheek. She was glad that it was too dark for the guys to notice.

The air was thick with silence for a moment, before Alex spoke once again.

“Anything else to add?” He calmly asked.

“BECAUSE MY WHOLE FAMILY IS DEAD AND THEY ARE NOT HERE. AND I JUST CAME OUT OF FUCKING ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP AND I HATE HIM!”

Tears silently streaming down her cheeks now, she choked back a sob. She didn’t want the guys to know she was crying, even though they would probably expect her to. She didn’t want comforting words or one of their warm hugs. She didn’t want their sympathy. She felt anger boil in her whole body. She wanted to smash something.

“Fuck him, right?” Luke added more fuel to her rage with his words.

“FUCK HIM!”

“Alright, now try to smash it again,” Reggie said.

Julie raised the bat behind her back as high as possible, bring it down with everything she got. She let out a beastlike scream right when the bat hit the plate, shattering it to a thousand pieces immediately.

She felt so angry. But it felt so good.

“YES!” Luke screamed at her, before putting a new porcelain object on top of the construction.   
“Again,” he simply said.

She repeated her movements while screaming, once again shattering it to pieces immediately.

They repeated this ritual for about six times, before Julie felt like she had been able to let most of her anger out. Her limbs were getting tired, and the last hit hadn’t been as good as the others. The tears had slowly dried up after a few hits.

She rested her hands on her knees, catching her breath. She looked around for a moment to see the three of them smiling down proudly at her.

“Anyone else wanna give it a go?” She asked, pushing herself back up with the bat still in her hands.

She stepped in Alex’ direction, holding the bat in the air for him to grab. He nodded slightly before taking in her place.

They repeated the whole ritual. Alex was smashing down everything to pieces because of his frustration of not seeing Willie. Of his parents having a hard time when he came out as gay all those years ago. Julie wasn’t sure whether he was crying as well, but he sure as hell had screamed at the top of his longs and had used all his strength to let his emotions out.

After Alex, Reggie gave it a try. He told them about his frustration of the situation with his parents. Them always fighting when he was younger, forgetting what the hurtful words would do to him as a kid. Them being on the verge of a divorce right before he died. Him not being able to trace them down right now. He shattered about three plates and two cups before he handed the bat over to Luke.

He gladly accepted the bat before placing a porcelain bowl on the construction, getting ready to smash it.

“What are you doing this for, Luke?” Julie quietly asked.

She was always afraid to overstep boundaries, but the atmosphere had been so open between the four of them this night that she felt like she could ask.

“For always fighting with my mother when I was younger. For not-“ He interrupted his own sentence, swallowing down a lump in his throat.

“For not appreciating her. Not taking the effort to talk it out, but instead grabbing my stuff and fucking running away.”

Julie nodded at him. She was not as good at pushing people to their limits as he was.

“Why didn’t you go back?” Alex asked. Julie quickly looked over to him, not sure whether he was taking it too far. He gave her a confident nod in return, suggesting that he knew the story and knew what he was doing.

“Because I’m a fucking coward. FUCK I missed them so much. But I couldn’t get myself to fucking admit that I was in the wrong to leave her like that. If I would have just had the courage- I was so close that one night- I should have just-“ He interrupted his own speech by fully smashing the bowl midsentence, shattering it to pieces. He immediately grabbed the next object.

“I should have gone home. Fucking talked it out. Should have sung that song for her. But I was too self-centred. Only thinking about MYSELF and my own FUCKING dreams. Too much of a coward-” He mashed another piece of porcelain, grabbing another one again.

“But then I fucking DIED because I’m such an idiot and I never, EVER got to make it up to her and I probably NEVER will. I just wish she knew how much I loved her. How much she means to me- I- FUCK.” He smashed the next object. And then the next. He grabbed another one and shattered it to pieces.

“FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.” He screamed at the top of his lungs. Julie noticed his tearstained face when she looked up from his bat to his face.

Once the objects to smash were all used, he started smashing the pieces on the ground with full force, making sure every piece of porcelain was as small as it could get. All the while, he kept cursing.

It took him a few more minutes before he eventually threw the bat through the air as far as he could. He turned around immediately, walking away from the rest of them in the direction of the river.

“Luke, where are you going?” Reggie yelled after him.

“Fuck off-“ Luke started, but interrupted himself as soon as he realised who he was talking to.  
“Sorry, I just- Let me be alone for a moment okay?” He asked as he wiped some tears from his face, his voice sounded strained by the tears. He didn’t wait for an answer before he turned around again and walked away from them in a fast pace.

The silence in the air was thick and Julie wasn’t sure if and what she was supposed to say to the other guys. They stood like that for a while, lost in their own thoughts.

Eventually, Alex grabbed a garbage back and started to clean up the mess they made. Julie and Reggie automatically followed, picking up the small shards of porcelain and quietly putting them in the black, plastic bag.

“Thank you, for tonight,” Julie softly spoke as she bended down to pick up a few more pieces of the shattered objects.

“I think we all kind of needed it,” Reggie smiled at her. His smile didn’t look very convincing, and Julie wondered if his mind had drifted off to Luke as well. She shot one more glance in the direction in which Luke had walked off to, wondering if and how she could help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, a bit late. I have to admit, I am completely addicted to a fanfic myself right now so it took a bit more effort to get this one done.
> 
> However, I hope you like it! Let me know what you think :)


	20. Chapter 19

“Your teacher really doesn’t mind that we’re using this room?” Julie asked, her fingers sliding softly over the keys of the keyboard right in front of her.

“Yeah, no, it’s fine. Mrs. Cooper always encourages to us to play music. As long as we treat the stuff in this room with some respect and put everything back at its place at the end of our jamming session,” Reggie said from the other side of the room while trying to get the tuning on his bass right for the third time.   
“Ah f-“ He stopped himself from cursing as one of his strings suddenly snapped, springing through the warm air before hanging loosely from his guitar.

He mumbled something about finding some spare strings before walking out of the music room at a quick pace.

Julie nervously nibbled on one of her nails, looking at Luke and Alex as they were respectively tuning their guitar and setting up their drumming kit.

She had practiced playing music two more times with Luke again, before he mentioned that they should try to play some songs with the whole band.

Her two private sessions with Luke had gone alright. The first time they got back to playing together again, she felt the same stress as she had the first time. Luke had immediately been by her side as soon as he noticed her unease however, and had managed to get her through it again. They had played Wake Up together again. First both on the keyboard, but once Julie had gotten the hang of it again Luke had grabbed his guitar and had played some chords. During their second jamming session, they had also played Edge of Great. It was apparently a song that they had played when they were in the band. Just like with Wake Up, once Julie had started playing the notes it only took her a moment before her muscle memory took over and helped her play through the song. The plan for today was to start with Edge of Great with the whole band.

“You alright, Jules?” Alex asked from his drumming kit, his eyebrows were slightly furrowed as he looked at her. Luke turned around to look at her at the mention of her name, the same concern reflected in his eyes as in Alex’.

Julie froze in her movements. She felt blood rise to her cheeks as she quickly put her hand between her legs, trying to hide the fact that she felt more nervous than she should.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m okay, just a bit.. It’s weird to play music again. I’m afraid I’m going to mess up,” she spoke, confessing the truth as the words slipped out of her mouth. She put her hand op once again, biting down on the edge of one of her longer nails now.

Luke calmly put his guitar down in one of the standards before walking over to her. He gestured for her to move over so he could sit next to her on the way too small stool. She couldn’t help but let out a chuckle as she almost fell of the side, one butt cheek hanging dangerously close over the edge. Somehow, she managed to regain her balance and sat up right again. Her shoulder was firmly pressed against Luke’s.

“You’ve got this alright, trust me,” Luke started before he put his hands on the keyboard in front of him.  
“Remember, first you play this chord. Then you go over to these few, and at the chorus you’ll play this. We’ll all be playing right along with you.”

Julie quietly nodded at him, giving a small smile in an attempt to assure him that she would be fine.

“Luke always messes up anyways, just make sure you get the first two notes right and you’ll be sure you’re not the first one that plays a false note,” Alex said, twirling one of his drum sticks around in his right hand.

Julie couldn’t help but let a giggle escape as Luke got up again and slapped Alex across the head. A painful expression appeared on Alex’ face as he rubbed over the sore spot.

“Shut up, you don’t even know how to keep a steady rhythm. We’ve got Reggie to thank for that,” Luke grinned at him while he grabbed his guitar once again. Just as Alex was about to hit Luke back with another comment, Reggie walked back into the room.

“Stop the fighting ladies. Can’t leave you alone for one minute now, can I?” He spoke as he strode over to his amp. He grabbed a cable and plucked it into his bass.   
“And yes, I do indeed carry this band. But we’ll talk about that another time. Now are we ready to rock and roll?”

He left no time for them to respond, but instead immediately hit some notes on his bass. Both Alex and Luke enthusiastically yelled in response to his question.

“You ready, Jules?” Reggie asked, more calmly this time as he damped the sound of his bass with the palm of his hand. Julie forced a small smile before quietly agreeing.

The song started out with a piano, which meant that Julie was supposed to open the song on her own. She nervously looked around at the guys one more time. Alex gave her a subtle thumbs up.

“Come on Julie, just like we practiced,” Luke encouragingly whispered. She nodded at him before letting her eyes move over to the keyboard in front of her. She put her fingers as the right position and pushed them down.

“Running from the past  
Tripping on the now  
What is lost can be found, it’s obvious,” Julie quietly sang. She tried her hardest to remember the words that her and Luke had practised.

While practicing with Luke, her fingers had automatically found their way across the keyboard. The atmosphere had been good and she had felt relaxed. But with the three of them staring at her, she noticed how more difficult it was to find out what her next movements should be. The tension in her body made it more difficult for her muscle memory to take over control.

“And like a rubber ball  
We come bouncing back  
We all got a second act, inside of us,” she continued, relieved that she managed to find the right notes and words.

The banging of Alex’ kick drum prepared her for the explosion of music that followed after her intro. Even though she knew this was coming, as soon as the guys started playing along with her, she felt overwhelmed.

She looked up for a moment to see the three of them proudly smile at her. She should be singing words right now and she should be playing the keyboard, but she could only think about how the feeling of them being proud reminded her of her mom. Of her father, her brother.

The music sounded empty without the words that were supposed to be sung. Nothing useful was coming to her mind and she shot Luke a hopeless glance. She felt a wave of relieve as he quickly acted on it and started singing instead.

She didn’t register what his exact words were as she tried to focus on her hands instead. As she forced her fingers down on a few keys, but it didn’t fit in with the music as well. As the boys kept on playing, Julie tried to tag along but managed to keep playing out of the rhythm and out of key.

She let out a sigh as she let the muscles in her arms relax, her eyes focused on her bitten off nails that were now laying loosely on the keyboard.

The music kept playing. She didn’t know if the guys didn’t realize that she had let them down, or if they didn’t care. A feeling in her gut made her reluctant to look up and watch their disappointed reactions.

She was startled when she felt something nudge her shoulder and looked up to her side in surprise. Reggie had walked over to her and had softly pushed her with the end of his bass guitar.

“Come on,” he mouthed, gesturing for her to get off the stool and follow him to the rest of the guys. She quickly tiptoed after him as she tried not to step on any wires.

“Take a breath, hun. Relax. Sing along with Luke. You know the words, I know you do. And if you don’t, just make something up or hum. We don’t care,” Reggie said over his shoulder before he softly pushed Julie in the direction of Luke. He grabbed her a microphone and then walked back to his own spot.

“Shout, shout  
C’mon and let it out, out,” Luke sung. He took a step closer to Julie, and calmly put a hand on her lower back as he brought her back to where he was standing before. He stared directly into her eyes as he sang the next bit.

“Don’t gotta hide  
Let your colors blind their eyes  
Be who you are, no compromise,” he continued.

Her vocal cords automatically moved as they prepared to start singing along with him again. She decided to go with it and sang along to the next few words.

“Just shout, shout  
C’mon and let it out, out  
What doesn’t kill you makes you feel alive  
Ooh-oh.” Their voices blended beautifully together as they finished off the bridge and prepared for the pre-chorus again.

“Just you,” Luke shouted over the music, the second before they were supposed to be singing again.

Julie felt at lost for a moment, afraid that she would have a blackout again. She was relieved to see that Luke started mouthing the words at her. She sang along to his silent words.

“I believe  
I believe that we’re just one dream  
Away from who we’re meant to be  
That we’re standing on the edge of great.” Only her voice and Luke’s guitar rang through the room, before Alex and Reggie joined once again. They played the last chorus all together, right to the last note.

There was a comfortable silence for a moment after they had quietened their instruments. It was still weird not to have her family cheer her on after songs. No encouragingly words from her father, mother or brother. Just the three guys beaming proudly at each other.

Julie was pulled from her thoughts when Luke put an arm around her shoulder, his guitar dangling from the strap on his hip.

“That was amazing, do you want to try it again?” He whispered, so only she could hear. She looked up in his eyes before she slightly nodded.

“Alright, let’s play it again!” Luke excitedly yelled at the other two. Julie released herself from Luke’s grip and sat herself back behind the keyboard.

In the end they played it two more times, each attempt going better and better. The more she relaxed during the song, the more her body would automatically take over and play the right notes and sing the right words. She smiled proudly at herself when they called it to an end after the third try. Maybe, just maybe, this would all work out better than she had expected.

\------------------------------------------------------

“Alright I have two pizza Margheritas, one with pepperoni and one with salmon?” The waitress said as she was balancing four plates on her arm.

Both Julie and Reggie raised their hands when she mentioned the pizza Margheritas. Julie gladly accepted the first plate and handed it over to Reggie, before she took the second plate and put in front of herself. After that, Luke and Alex accepted their respective pizzas and put on the table as well.

“Can I get you anything else to drink?” The waitress asked politely as she grabbed her little notepad from her back pocket.

“Yeah, uhm.. another cider please?” Julie asked as she pushed her empty glass in her direction.

“Another cider, yeah sure. Any of the boys, something to drink?”

“Another beer for me please,” Luke added.

“Yeah for me as well,” Reggie grinned at the waitress. It was obvious he was trying to flirt with her, but not with a lot of success so far.

“I’ll just have another coke, please,” Alex said as he quickly downed the last of his previous drink. 

The waitress scribbled down their orders before she walked away with the empty glasses.

After they had finished their jamming session, they had decided to go out for dinner to celebrate the fact that they had played as a whole band for the first time again. Julie had invited Flynn as well, but she and Rose had planned a quite date night at home.

They had dropped of their gear at home before they had jumped in Alex his car and drove to the little Italian restaurant just out of town. They had decided that they could have a couple of beers to celebrate the event of that day. Alex however was staying sober. He told them it was because he was supposed to drive them back home, which seemed like a legit reason. But Julie also had the feeling that he did it because of her. They were all aware of the negative experiences Julie had with people drinking alcohol around her. He had just offered to drive them even though they could have walked or taken public transportation. But as he told them he would stay sober, he had subtly given Julie a comforting rub at her lower back. She had given him a small smile in response, thanking him in silence, before they went out for dinner.

So there they were sitting at the restaurant about an hour later. They had grabbed a booth, their high backrests shielding them from the rest of the restaurant. Julie had jumped in the booth first and Alex had slid in beside her. Across from her was Reggie, and sitting the farthest away was Luke. She had felt an unexpected pinge of disappointment the moment she realised she was in no way sitting near to Luke. Not in front of him, and not beside him.

She knew they almost had a thing back in the days, and until now she had not known how to act on it. She and Alex talked about it almost daily, at the moments that none of their friends were around. Luke hadn’t forced anything on her, but had helped her deal with her demons lately. He had just been very sweet and supportive towards her. Something that reminded her of her family. Even though Flynn was always there for her, Luke interacted with her in a way that she had been missing for years now.

Julie had just admitted to Alex this morning that she did actually start to enjoy all the attention that Luke was giving her. The small, supportive touched that he used more often now made something sparkle in her lower stomach.

It wasn’t like it was with Jake in the beginning. She had been head over heels and remembered the feeling of an explosion of butterflies inside of her anytime he did something sweet for her.

But she couldn’t deny that there was definitely something there with Luke now as well. No, she did not have a crush. No, she was not in love. But she did like the attention and spending time with him, so she was just going to go with it.

She sipped from her cider as soon as she waitress had brought them their drinks. She felt the alcohol immediately hit her veins as she slightly wobbled in her seat. She had always been an absolute lightweight. This was the third cider she was drinking this night, and she was already feeling tipsy. Julie tended to notice the effect of alcohol on her body when she would just start moving a lot more, like she couldn’t keep herself sitting steady in one place. Also, even though she tended to be shy from time to time, as soon as there was alcohol in her she would talk a lot more.

She put her glass down again and took a slice of pizza in her hand, taking a huge bite before contently chewing on it and putting her head down to rest on Alex’ shoulder.

“You okay?” He quietly asked in between two bites.

“Yeah, just a bit tired,” she said, before giggling to herself. Julie probably was one of the worst people to hide the fact that she was intoxicated. She caught Luke staring at them with an unreadable expression on his face. Apparently Alex caught it too, because he subtly shook Julie off his shoulder before he excused himself.

“I’m sorry, I need to go to the toilet,” Alex quickly said as he pushed himself from the booth. However, he grabbed his plate and drink as well and stood there awkwardly for a moment.

“Luke, can you serve as her pillow in the meantime please?” He bluntly said. Luke just nodded at him and moved smoothly from his own spot to next to Julie. The way he moved suggested that he was in no way as intoxicated as she was yet, which wasn’t that weird when she came to think about it.

Alex put his plate and drink on the table before he disappeared.

Julie just took another few sips of her drink and a bite from her pizza, before she let her head rest on Luke his broad shoulder. She could feel him slightly chuckle, before he finished his drink himself.

She didn’t know if it was her tipsy mind speaking or that it was something else, but she had a feeling that this night could become more interesting than she had expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> I'm so sorry it took me so long to update again! I've been incredibly busy lately, which means that I can only write fragments of a new chapter everytime I sit down to write. So it took me like a week to write this one.
> 
> However, I hope you enjoyed some Juke and I'll try to update again next week!
> 
> Once again, thank you so much for all the love :) Let me know what you think of this chapter!


	21. Chapter 20

The loud music was booming through the speakers, as Julie made her way across the pub. Even though it wasn’t weekend yet, they had decided to celebrate their achievement for a little bit longer.

It was a cold, dark Thursday night and they had made their way to the Irish pub in the city centre after they had finished their meals. Julie had immediately felt the effect of the alcohol on her state of mind after her first drink, and she had probably had about six or seven drinks after.

When they made the plan to go to the pub, Julie told herself to keep it calm and only drink about three or four drinks. But at one point, she had lost count and she was having so much fun that she had decided to just keep on going. She would handle the consequences tomorrow.

This decision had lead her to not be able to walk straight anymore, have trouble seeing things clearly and it took her longer to process what people were saying to her. She wouldn’t say she was shitfaced drunk, she hadn’t had any blackouts yet and she was still aware of everything she was doing. Just with a little less coordination. But maybe she was a little bit more intoxicated than she should be.

She was caught of guard as when her toe hit an upstanding plank in the floor, causing her to stumble a forward. She managed to regain her balance, but it was more a matter of luck than anything else.

She let out a sigh of relief when she sat down at their table again. Her trip to the toilet and back had been an exhausting one. Her unfinished drink had somehow disappeared, but she assumed that the guys maybe had finished it or maybe the waitress had thought that she was done with it. Julie calmly put her hand on the shoulder of the brown haired boy next to her, before resting her cheek down on it. She had no clue if it was because of the chemical substance rushing through her veins, but the small crush she had on Luke had probably doubled or maybe even tripled since the start of their night.

She heard a confused sound leave Luke’s mouth, which caused her to tilt her head up again and look up. She squeezed her eyes together and tried to regain focus on her mates around the table.

Just as she realised she was in fact not sharing a table with Luke, Reggie and Alex at the moment at all, another man walked up to their table and stood on her left side. The three guys she didn’t seem to recognize at all looked at Julie and then to the newcomer with big eyes.

“Yeah, alright. Sorry about that, this one belongs with me,” he quickly apologized to the three of them before Julie felt someone grab her shoulders on both sides and help her up.

She stumbled along with him before she realized that maybe she should check if she did know this guy. What were all these strangers doing here? And where were her friends?

As she had been experiencing trouble with keeping her balance tonight, she decided to focus on putting her feet down instead of looking sideways and tripping over something else.

“Is thaaaat you, Lexie?” She slurred in an attempt to confirm her speculations.

“It sure is, Jules. Let’s get you back to the people you came with in the first place, okay?” He spoke as he steadied her steps while they made their way back to their table. Julie just mumbled a quiet okay as she concentrated on not falling.

“Glad to see you’re back, Jules,” Reggie immediately said when they arrived at their other friends.

“Were you a bit lost?” Luke grinned before he took a sip of his beer. Julie sat down on the wooden chair next to Luke again, the furniture creaking as soon as she put her full weight on it.

“Noooo. You disappeared,” Julie stated as a matter of fact. She put her hand on Luke’s shoulder and let her cheek rest on it. Just as she had planned to do before, but this time with the real Luke.

“Uhuh, sure. Keep telling yourself that,” Alex sarcastically agreed with her.

“You alright?” Luke asked quietly so the other two couldn’t hear. Alex and Reggie somehow seemed to be distracted by each other anyways.

“Yeaaah, a bit dizzy. Soo many things tried to make me fall to the ground.” Julie was looking forward to the moment where she would manage to make intelligent sentences again, without sounding like she was completely of the world drunk.

“Maybe you’ve had enough to drink then,” Luke said. He subtly grabbed her unfinished drink and put it out of her reach.

“How is it thaaat-“ Julie was interrupted by her own thoughts as she spotted a beer mat which spelled ‘Stella Artois’. She had seen this trick once where you would put it on the edge of the table, than hit it from under it so it would flip a few times and then you had to catch it.

She grabbed the beer mat and managed to balance it on the edge of the table. Now the next step was putting her hand down and then move up really quickly.

She did not know how, or why. But she completely missed the beer mat and hit her hand in full speed against the downside of the table.

“Ah, fuck!” She yelled as she waved her hand through the air in an attempt to lessen the pain. Her attention was caught by the curious gazes of the three guys around her. Alex just smiled sympathetically at her when she met his gaze. Reggie put his hand over his mouth to try and muffle sound of him cackling. She quickly turned to Luke, who was obviously trying to hide his grin as well.

“Luke,” she pouted, holding up her hand in the air to signal that she was hurt.

“Okay, okay, you’ll be alright,” he quickly said. When she didn’t put her hand down, he softly grabbed it and put a small kiss on it in an attempt to heal her pain.

“Thank you,” Julie said, sounding completely sober and sophisticated for a moment.

“Glad that is solved. But ehm.. Jules you were going to say?” Alex subtly said, trying to get back to the conversation they were having.

“No clue, was I saying someething?” Julie spoke, her index finger poked hard into her chest as she tried to indicate that they were talking about her. The pain in her hand immediately flared up again.

“Ow,” she mumbled as she quietly rubbed her hand.

“Jesus, Jules,” Alex chuckled at her. She felt Luke press another kiss on her hand and the pain immediately disappeared again. Or maybe she was imagining it. She had no clue. But she did like the attention he was giving her.

“Yeah, you were asking something. ‘How is it thaaat-‘” Reggie said, trying hard to imitate the way Julie slurred her words.

“Oh, yes!! I remember!” She enthusiastically exclaimed as she perked up.  
“How is it that I am way, and I mean wayy, waaaayy, wayway-“

“Julie.”

“Oh sorry. How is it that I am way more intoxicated then the three of you are?” She asked, a serious undertone hearable in her voice now. How did she manage to pronounce such a hard word as intoxicated? No clue.

“We’ll let you figure that out yourself in the morning. I think it’s getting late, we should be heading home,” Alex said as he finished last coke. Both Reggie and Luke followed his example, but as Julie gestured for Luke to hand over her drink he just shook his head before downing hers as well.

“Don’t want you puking all over the car, honey,” he said while he put her glass down.

The three guys almost simultaneously put their chairs back and grabbed their coats from the back rests. Julie her fuzzy head made her stare at them in amazement, wondering how it was possible that they would move so quickly and smoothly.

“Are you coming or what?” Reggie chuckled at her before walking over and helping her off the chair. It was at that moment that Julie realized she was done feeling so dependent. She longed to the stability of her own, warm bed and a clear head. She still had a long time to go before she would be finally at that destination though.

\-----------------------------------

It took them more than 20 minutes to get back to their apartment, including two emergency stops where Julie had to run out of the car and throw up. Reggie and Luke had taken turns in holding her hair back. Both of them had seen one full vomiting session of Julie. Not her most attractive moments, if she must say so herself.

Fast forward another 30 minutes and Julie was about to crawl into her soft and warm bed. She had still not sobered up at all. She was in her pyjamas, but she had absolutely no clue when and how she had changed into them.

“Are you going to be okay?” Luke asked from behind her. He put a hand softly on her shoulder as he walked past her and put a bucket next to her bed.  
“Just in case,” he whispered.

“Yeah. I love sleep,” Julie yawned. She slowly stumbled over to the bed and crawled under the blankets. It was either her sleepiness of her still intoxicated mind, but she was having a hard time adjusting the blankets so she was completely comfortable.

Her fight with the cotton material was cut short when two firm hands grabbed the blanket from her.

“Here, I’ll tuck you in,” Luke chuckled as he signalled for her to lie down. Julie obliged and that as he said. She almost immediately drifted off while she felt Luke put the blanket around her.

“Hey Luke?” She sleepily mumbled. Her head was fuzzy. She was somewhere in between being awake and being asleep.

“Yeah?”

“You are really nice. Maybe we should figure out what’s going on between us.” The words had left her mouth before she was aware of the meaning behind them.

“What do you mean?” He quietly asked.

“We should go on a date.” They were the last word Julie said before her mind completely drifted off. She had no idea what Luke’s reaction was, but she would deal with the consequences of her words in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> I'm sorry it took me so long to update! I've been insanely busy and I'm also kind of dealing with a writers block.
> 
> I know where I want this story to go, I'm just not sure how to get there at this moment. So I don't know when I'll update again, but just know that I didn't forget about it!


	22. It's going to take a while before I update again..

Hey everyone,  
I'm so sorry I have to post this but I think I have to take a break from writing.  
I'm really busy with my masters thesis right now and that in combination with my work results in me spending a lot of time behind a computer screen. I really like working on this fanfic and I still have some ideas I want to work out, but right now writing new chapters just feels like another obligation.

I just wanted you all to know that I'm not done writing yet and that I will try to finish this fanfic later this year, but for now I'm going to take a little hiatus.   
I'm sorry! :(


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